Saturday, July 17, 2010

Noisy Neighbors from Hell… absolutely suck!

I was talking with someone close to me who recently bought their first house. One of the things they were most looking forward to was no longer having to deal with noisy neighbors. Now if you have ever lived in an apartment, condo, townhouse or any other type of multi-family dwelling with shared walls you can probably relate. Having someone else live above, below or beside you can be positively annoying. There are the crying babies, obnoxious children’s temper tantrums, loud TV’s, base pumping stereos, and full volume video games that come blaring through your walls at all hours of the day and night. Not to mention having to listen to other people talking, arguing, partying, stomping around, slamming doors, attempting to play musical instruments, peeing, snoring, having sex or whatever other sorts of things inconsiderate individuals do to disturb -- and ultimately piss off their neighbors.

Upon reflection this reminded me of what had to be my all-time worst neighbors EVER. No one deserved to have to live anywhere near let alone right next door to this particular couple. How they managed to slip through the cracks and actually be allowed to rent a luxury apartment is beyond anyone’s comprehension. What an absolute freaking nightmare they were!

The guy loved to take late night rides around the perimeter of my former apartment complex revving his very loud motor cycle engine while kitted out in Nazi embellished apocalyptic motor cycle gear scaring any and all passersby.

The chick was quite a piece of work as well. She had a nasty disposition, spotted multi-colored hair and looked like some sort of truck stop hooker – and probably was.

Together they holed up for weeks at a time playing war video games and doing drugs. And let me tell you having your a-hole neighbors surround sound entertainment center on the same wall as your bed does not make for a good night’s sleep. When those two Jerry Springer show rejects weren’t cracked out and playing video games they were either blasting Scooby Doo cartoons through the walls, having loud/violent sex, or she was beating the crap out of him – in which case the police would usually show up. It only took a year and a half for the property managers to finally evict those losers – at which point we all sang hallelujah as I’m sure you would have as well.

Like most normal people (and unlike those f*ckwits mentioned above) I have always considered my home to be my sanctuary. As such, the last thing I or anyone of a similar mindset appreciates is having some dick for brains loud neighbor jack up one’s sleep, peace and quiet, or personal relaxing time.

So attention all you noisy and rude people living in multi-family dwellings: You are not living in a barn or a frat house out in the middle of nowhere. You are living in a structure with shared walls so please show some basic consideration for the neighbors who live around you. A little common courtesy goes a long way. …I’m just saying…


  1. My, I can certainly relate to this post! Sharing walls with inconsiderate neighbors is certainly not enjoyable. I once lived near this guy who would get drunk and play his electric guitar at 2 or 3 in the morning. He was such a jerk off. I think his room mate finally kicked him out. There is something seriously wrong with people like that who only think about themselves and don't take into consideration everyone else that they disturb!!!!!!!!!

  2. The neighbor above my place is a drunk (i think) and falls down a lot... just randomly throughout the day we hear these loud banging noises...

    One night when he was hammered he asked me to borrow a cigarette. I gave him one and he proceeded to talk to me. He implied that he was impressed with the way i had been nailing my girlfriend... he had heard it. A lot.

    I guess it didn't bother him though... i said "sorry man" and he just said "no problem".

    Is it weird that him hearing us doesn't bother me?

    Also: did you ever personally confront nazi man and hooker woman?

  3. @Anonymous: I hear you my friend! Although I suppose I should remind myself that it is only annoying shitty playing of chopsticks on a un-tuned piano and NOT an electric guitar the next time the demon child neighbor kid makes me want to call the police on her heathen ass.

    @Charles: You big stud! It could be weird that you neighbor enjoys hearing you do the wild thing with your woman.

    My friend has a weird guy that lives above him. Apparently 'weird guy' is regularly heard making various loud sex noises but there is never any sort of sound coming from a 2nd participant. My friend never sees or hears a woman coming or going from the upstairs apartment. This has been going on for two months now and my friend is starting to think 'weird guy' is doing a blow up doll. Pretty freaky huh?

  4. @Charles: Yes, I did attempt a civil conversation with nazi guy but lets just say that didn't go all that well -- and it was a long and hellish road from that particular day until the one where those a-holes were finally sent packing.

  5. I live right down the road from an auto repair place. The first summer I was at my house they were working on some racecar...revving it up all night long...I finally got tired of hearing it and called the place after midnight and someone answered...I asked their business hours and a guy told me 8-5. So I told him to clock out and shut the fuck up!!!

  6. @Donda: I was totally snort laughing reading what you said to those race car mechanics! I'm guessing he didn't have much to say to you after that?

  7. @G: Donda is a funny and fiesty one isn't she? Check out her blogs for even more entertainment!

  8. The people who live around me are all so inconsiderate that I feel like I am the weirdo for wanting peace and quiet!
    Thank you for making me feel less alone.
    Read my post called Kids these days, to get a glimpse of the shit I deal with!

  9. @Me, myself and I: At some point or another I think we all go through this. It makes me wonder how exactly some of the jackasses out there were raised. Having no consideration for others really hacks me off. I'll check out your blog for sure.


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