Saturday, July 24, 2010
Fashion Don’ts for Dudes
While I personally know some men with a great sense of fashion, it is probably fair to say that there are plenty of guys out there that really have positively no clue when it comes to dressing themselves in even the slightest semi-appealing manner. In an effort to help out those poor fashion-challenged blokes, The Ranter’s Box Fashionista is offering up some fairly universal fashion don’ts – as in DO NOT EVER BE SEEN IN PUBLIC WEARING the following:
Socks with Sandals
Wearing sandals accompanied by socks is a completely moronic fashion faux pas. Besides looking ridiculous, socks defeat the whole purpose of allowing ones feet to stay cool. If a man’s feet are so fugly or poorly groomed that he needs to hide them with socks, then he should simply opt for normal, closed-toe shoes… or otherwise risk coming across as an effing dork!
Unless a guy is in his teens, early twenty’s or is an actual rock star, then most men cannot effectively pull off this effeminate, incredibly trendy look. Skinny jeans are unflattering on almost everyone and far, far from manly. Chicks like manly. Enough said.
Cropped shirts of any kind are a major fashion disaster. Unless a guy is working as a male stripper then it is best to steer clear of this type of attire. Most men do not have the appropriate physique to wear this sort of look. And if even a dude does have a banging bod and is gung ho on showing off his six-pack in a sexy little cropped top, then he is still at risk of looking like one of the Village People or a guido from the Jersey Shore. So just don’t go there!
Holiday sweaters never were and will never be fashionable for a man. Only a frumpy nana who is stuck in the 80’s would dare attempt this huge fashion no-no. So, unless one is aiming to become an absolute laughing stock amongst their mates, the only acceptable place for a holiday sweater is inside a wood chipper or the bottom of a fire pit. Comprende?
Wearing thongs, banana hammocks, sausage slings or anything even remotely resembling a speedo in public is just plain wrong on so many levels. Speedos are unflattering on almost all men and no one wants to be forced to see the ‘junk in some dude’s trunks’. Unless a guy is a professional competitive swimmer, then it is best to save this look for private viewing ONLY lest risk coming across as a gross and narcissistic exhibitionist!
Thank you and I’m so glad we have finally cleared this up!