Sunday, July 18, 2010

Vile Food Items that Should be Banned from Existence

It doesn’t matter if you are a self-professed, up-yourself foodie with a highly refined palate or just an average joe eater, we all typically have foods that we loathe and would never want to find on our dinner plate. Some food items are obviously disgusting and puke-inducing by nature while others often contain unknown ingredients that render them repulsive by default. Either way there are definitely some food items that should be banned from worldly existence:

Brussels Sprouts
These gross little stink balls with the equally stupid name are from the wild cabbage family and were grown as early as the 1200’s in Belgium. How exactly the Belgians could come up with something as wonderfully delicious as Belgian chocolate and something as disgusting as brussels sprouts is a complete and utter mystery. To this day, brussels sprouts are referred to as ‘barf balls’ by many of my family members and even our childhood dog had enough sense NOT to eat something that looked and smelled like vomit chunks!

Pork Rinds
This questionable snack food is derived by taking chunks of processed pork skin, deep frying it until it puffs up into weird curly shapes and then adding various chemical agents and seasoning. While pork rind manufacturers attempt to remove most of the pig hair from the pork skin, doing so isn’t 100% possible so if you are really lucky you just might get some of porky’s hair with your piggy chips. Ummm… Now that’s what I call tasty!

Gelatin or Jell-O
The dark little secret on this food item is that it is actually made from the boiled bones, cartilage, connective tissues, skins and tendons of animals. Once processed, gelatin becomes a tasteless, odorless and almost colorless protein that dissolves in hot water and turns jelly-like when cool. Gelatin is the basis for that fun, wiggly, giggly dessert otherwise known as Jell-O. Now I don’t care how dietetic Jell-O is supposed to be, there ain’t no way I’m eating pig hooves!

Chitterlings a.k.a. Chitlans
These nasty astronomical delights (not!) are actually the viscera intestines of pigs that are prepared as food and which stink to high hell during the cooking process. And if the mere possibility of contracting a disease such as E. coli and Salmonella weren’t bad enough, chitlans must be soaked and rinsed several times in water and repeatedly picked clean by hand to remove extra bits of fat, undigested food and feces. Now maybe it is just me, but anything that has housed actual shit is just too freaking disgusting to even attempt eating

While garlic has been used for food and medicinal purposes by many cultures for thousands of years, it still f*cking stinks! This repugnant member of the onion family is well known for causing halitosis but it is also responsible for inducing nausea, vomiting, diarrhea and mouth ulcerations in individuals who suffer from allergies to garlic – as in people like me! …Perhaps it’s the vampire roots in my family tree, who knows, but if someone ever wanted to knock me off all they would have to do is poison me with garlic and it would be sayonara to the future Empress of the Blogging World. And well, I’m just not having any of that!

Drop me a line in the comments section and let me know what foul food items gross you out, turn your stomach or just plain make you want to vomit. Thanks!


  1. Did you know Garlic - as good for your immune system as it's supposed, and I said supposed to be,is one of the main triggers of acid reflux? Yup! If you wake up in the night and feel the need to reach for the bottle of Tums or Rolaids, try not adding garlic to your dinner or any food at all anymore. After I read about this we stopped adding minced garlic, even dry garlic powder to our home cooked meals and didn't have a need for the mega-sized bottle of TumsEX anymore!
    BTW- We like cabbage, so we ate Brussell Sprouts a few nights ago...if you are a cabbage person, boil for 15 min, add sea salt and melted butter and it's pretty darn good.Just don't eat the hard part at the bottom...Yuk! No pork rinds or chitlins -ever!Agreed!

  2. @G: That doesn't surprise me about garlic at all. Some of its reported health benefits can not be proven through medical studies. Garlic is so unorignial when used to 'season' food and takes away from the flavor of anything else in the dish. GROSS, VILE and NASTY STUFF for sure!!!... Are you sure I can't convince you to have a nice big plate of garlicky chitlans with a side of pork rinds?

  3. I agree about chitlins, although I have never tried them. I reserve my opinion about brussels sprouts for now because i have never had them but they don't necessarily seem repulsive. I disagree whole-heartedly about garlic and pork rinds and jello though....

    I love those things... no matter how gross!

  4. @Charles: So, shall I make you a nice big bowl of garlicky jello topped with pork rinds? ... What food grosses you out by the way?

  5. How DARE you attack my precious gelatin and garlic! :( While I'm not such a fan of that other stuff, Jell-O and garlic are delicious, at least when served and used separately.

    I think the food process for just about anything is gross. For example, even organic produce, who knows how many animals and bugs have crapped all over the crops? I just assume anything I'll eat has been tainted, either in the production or the prep stages, and thankfully, almost none of it is really all that harmful.

  6. @Steve G: Ha! Ha! You garlic and Jell-O lover!... I think you are right about food processing and that it is probably best not to think about the overall grossness of it too much. ...By the way, which foods do you happen to find disgusting?

  7. Gross, who could eat pork rinds? They are really, really disgusting!!

    Some people say I'm a picky eater but oh well I know what I like & don't like. I think mushrooms, melons, mayonnaise, cilantro, parsley & any kind of animal guts are horrible! oh and I really hate quiche too.

  8. I'm gonna stand up for garlic!

    Acid reflux or not, I'm going with 'everything in moderation' :)

    My 10 cents!

  9. Here's a repulsive food item that most campers, at least those in the south, like to keep in the camper and hunting cabins...Potted Meat! I never heard of this until some comedian on TV mentioned it and so i asked my hubby who has been a camper and hunter since birth by way of his family before him,"Have you ever heard of Potted Meat", I asked with a scrunched up face?
    "oh, yea, I eat it every now and then when I hunt..."
    I told him I thought it was a joke and never really new there was such a thing...he said to look in the isle next to the(another gross food) Vienna Sausages in the can , the sardines (which are great for Omega-3 and I love them), and other canned delights, and so I did and there it was- Potted Meat. I'm sorry but who the F would want to take a chance on something called Potted Meat? Just sounds wrong! That's my story and I'm stickin' to it! LOL!

  10. I'm sure there are many people who know how cheese is made, but just recently I found out in order to turn the milk into cheese an enzyme called rennet must be added. Rennet is mainly found in the stomach acids of mammals. So when you think about it, we are eating a solid form of animal vomit! To me thats just as gross as how they make gelatin.

  11. Wow you guys! I never imagined that a topic as boring as food would garner such discussion. Thanks for all your comments!!

    @Anonymous: I know plenty of people who dislike mushrooms and melon although they don't bother me personally. Mayo I'm not such a fan of... and well, I completely agree with you about the animal 'guts'!

    @S: I think garlic is one of those things that people either love or hate. Good on you if you enjoy the stuff.

    @G: Ewwww! Potted Meat, yuck! Even considering what exactly is in the stuff makes we want to hurl.

    @Sam: I completely forgot about rennet! Animal vomit is definitely something I don't care to ingest. Thank god there is rennet-free cheese cause I love me some cheese!

  12. By the way, which foods do you happen to find disgusting?

    hm, Good question. Like, I'm not a fan of carrots, but I don't find them disgusting either. Maybe some of the more pungent cheeses? Nothing is worse than finding some overly-ripe cheese in the fridge.

    I also find the smell of some Asian food to be noxious. When I was a kid, the upstairs neighbors in my dad's apartment were Asian and constantly cooking some ethnic food that made the whole place stink. It was also a really common smell when I dated a Korean girl who lived in Worcester. I have no idea why this was the case.

  13. @Steve G: Smelly cheese, I totally get that one... One of my relatives had to move due to fumigation by the neighbors ethnic cooking. Even the health department said the smell was beyond disgusting but the apartment complex never did anything to remedy the situation... I once had neighbors who made kimchee? under the bathroom sink (we shared adjoining walls) and you could smell the shit all the way up at my front door. It smelled like there were 3 week old dead bodies hidden in their apartment. They were eventally kicked out and the complex had to rip out all the carpet and repaint the place three times to try and remove the stench. I will never forget that stomach turning smell. YUCK!

  14. Shallots make my teeth feel squeaky.

  15. @Martha: Squeaky teeth, now that is an after effect that I would not have imagined. Shallots just make me queasy and sick to my stomach. Vile little things those shallots are aren't they?!

  16. I'm allergic to garlic too. Freaking Olive Garden and their breadsticks...I can never resist and then I'm up all night. Not fair.

    Cottage cheese is particularly foul as well. I can't even smell that stuff without gagging.

  17. @Crabby Commuter: Yeah, freaking Olive Garden. I can't go there because of those damn garlicky bread sticks and raw onions all over their salads. Not fair at all! ...I do happen to be fairly fond of cottage cheese - especially with Wheat Thins. Weird huh?

  18. I do suppose that Wheat Thins could make anything acceptable...I may have to give you a pass on that one.

  19. I loves me some garlic bread sticks, too!!! Damn that garlic acid reflux...thank gosh someone invented TumsEX!


Comments are welcome and appreciated. You do not have to sign up or give your contact information to be able to comment. Feel free to comment anonymously if you like. Just fill my box up. It makes me so very happy!