Friday, July 16, 2010

Man Whores in the House!



From the actual jungles to Hollywood and everywhere in between, man whores have pretty much been around since the beginning of time. Whether you call them players, womanizers, philanderers, or just outright pigs they are indeed a unique and varied breed. Some man whores are kind and sweet and have hearts of gold like Deuce Bigalow, Male Gigolo. Other man whores are legendary like Wilt Chamberlain who was reported to have slept with as many as 20,000 women. And of course there are the now out-of-the closet ‘surprise’ man whores like Tiger Woods.

Here at The Ranter’s Box we thought it would be amusing to give out a few man whore awards of our own:

Current Reigning Man Whore:

Mike “The Situation” from Jersey Shore
On a mission to personally hump anything with two legs, The Situation is probably not the kind of guy a girl wants to bring home to meet dad. Flip on the TV and in any given episode of the Jersey Shore, The Situation is bound to be banging yet another skanky chick in the hot tub. Real classy this one is!


Man Whore Lifetime Achievement Award:

Charlie Sheen
Good old Charlie doesn’t just play a womanizer on TV, in real life his batting average for banging chicks could quite possibly rival that of an entire league of professional ball players combined. From the high-priced call girls, to Hollywood starlets and whatever random girls he can pick up along the way, Charlie clearly likes to get his screw on!


King of the Jungle Man Whore:

Leo the Lion
Leo, Zion or whatever the heck his name is can pretty much do whomever he wants whenever he wants. And if you don’t like it, this scary beast will eat your ass for dinner – literally!


Enjoy your weekend my friends!

13 comments:

  1. Great read!! I don't care what kinda assclown the situation is...he is a nice piece of equipment!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Charlie Sheen will always be badass, even if (or maybe because) he is a man whore!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I just found your blog & you don't pull any punches do you? It is good stuff though by the way if I do say so myself. How about Warren Beatty for old school man whore or Hugh Hefner for geriatric man whore? Those guys definitely got some in their time didn't they? I wonder if Hef still really does or if it is all an act? I bet he takes shitloads of the little blue pills wouldn't you think?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Love my Deuce Bigalow!!!!!!!!!!
    Remember...he really didn't want to be a MW...he just kinda fell into it, but he never really did it, just satisfied them with what they emotionally needed...my kinda MW!Go Deuce! And Rob Schneider for that matter...

    ReplyDelete
  5. @Donda: Mahalo my friend! So you like your boys dirty and bad? ;)

    @Jess: Charlie is in a category all of his own. From personal experience back in the day I can testify to this fact. While he couldn't ever get me to take a ride on his 'joy stick' I do know women who did just that -- and according to reports he rates fairly well. Bad ass, man whore and the love doctor all rolled in to one!

    @Anonymous: Yeah, I pretty much say what I think within reason. I thought about giving out 'skanky slut awards' but females tend to take those sort of awards as an insult where the guys accept them as a badge of honor... Ole Warren definitely got around back in the day, now he is probably a boring old married guy. As for Mr. Hefner, gosh I think I will need a brain bleach just thinking about that one!

    @G: Yes, Deuce the man whore who actually wasn't. Glad to see you enjoyed the memory of our favorite cock for hire!! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Haha, thanks for your comment and thanks for the smiles this post sparked! 20, 000 women. Crazy.

    ReplyDelete
  7. @linnykins: You are most welcome my dear. I'm so pleased to learn my snarky little self was able to bring smiles into your day... And yes, twenty thousand women! Wiki it!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. @Michelle: Why thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed my snarky man whore awards. And know that there is always more witty and snide banter where that came from.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I live in Jersey and I've actually heard through the grapevine that The Situation is...get this...a teacher. Holy smokes.

    ReplyDelete
  10. @Crabby Commuter: Teacher? Crikey! I would have NEVER seen that one coming. What exactly pray tell would The Situation be qualified to teach?

    ReplyDelete
  11. Phys Ed maybe? I really don't see him doing well with parent/teacher conferences.

    ReplyDelete
  12. @Crabby Commuter: Boys Phys Ed, hopefully or otherwise he would get into trouble quickly with the girls... Yeah, parent/teacher conferences probably wouldn't go so well for a variety of reasons.

    ReplyDelete

Comments are welcome and appreciated. You do not have to sign up or give your contact information to be able to comment. Feel free to comment anonymously if you like. Just fill my box up. It makes me so very happy!