We’ve all had to deal with those clunky, cumbersome shopping carts with those wonky wheels that are about as hard to push through the grocery store as an overloaded trash dumpster. Then there are those filthy, nasty carts that actually do look like the inside of a trash can -- complete with sticky goo, old receipts and stray bits of left over produce. There are also the stray, unmanned shopping carts that some wanker leaves out in the middle of the parking lot because they are too fricking lazy to take the cart and put it back in the cart corral where it belongs. And of course those stray carts are inevitably destined to go on a solo hit-and-run mission throughout the parking lot running over little old ladies and scraping up the side of your car, which absolutely pisses me off -- as much as I imagine it ticks off those ole blue hairs with the shopping cart wheel marks running down their backs.
But anyhow, basically I hate shopping carts and therefore avoid them at all costs. Yesterday however, I didn’t have so much luck with my usual avoidance strategy. There I was intending to make a quick stop into the local grocery store to pick up a few items. Fairly quickly I had loaded up my hand basket and with my other free hand I carried a large jug of water. It was a bit of a juggling act but no real problem since there was (lucky me!) an open checkout counter to walk straight up to. Or so I thought. Out of nowhere comes this psychotic dude driving his big ass shopping cart like it was an assault vehicle. He was absolutely determined that he was going to race me to the cash register and cut me off at the pass. At that point I was struggling and about to accidentally drop my shopping basket on the ground, but somehow managed to get it on to the check-out counter. As the cashier was asking me if I was ok, she and I both turned to look in shock as the crazy guy’s shopping cart came within inches of rear ending me. I couldn’t help but ask that A-hole if perhaps he was in a such a hurry that he needed to go in front of me. He replied that no he didn’t need to go first, he just thought he would come over to another checkout lane. Seriously dude? Like WTF? Did I forget that I had left on my Harry Potter invisibility cloak or something and he just couldn’t see me? Or maybe, the jerk gets his kicks by playing shopping cart derby, or maybe he liked my perfume, who the hell knows… Anyway, the dick proceeded to follow my out into the parking lot trying to garner further unaccepted attention from me. And because I was rightfully convinced that he was a complete and utter nutter, I kept my eye on him while I was driving away. And wouldn’t you know it, the bastard left his shopping cart out in the middle of the crowded parking lot!
This is a loser who thinks it takes too long to make microwave popcorn! They need it NOW, FAST, and selfishly act as if the world only caters to them and their needs....This is also the guy , IMHO, who wonders aloud to his friend over a beer, "why can't I get a date"? Doesn't he realize acting like a 2 year old pushing a Little Tykes buggy at 30mph in a grocery store is NOT the way to get chic attention?!
ReplyDeleteHe had to hurry up, Ranter, because his cold beer was already warming up and he needed to get that cold beer into the drink holders in the redneck recliner you told us about ASAP! Man, how could you be in front of him when all he wanted to do is sit in his motorized recliner sipping that cold beer with a bag of chips and watching Nascar in HD? I mean , seriously, Rant Box Rebel! You really held up his good time alone with his chip crumbs and his hands in his lap...if ya' know what I mean...
@ G: Hmmm, maybe he was hoping to try and ram something else up The Ranter's ass... but being that he had no 'game', then no score!
ReplyDeleteOoooh, Ranter, you are baaaaad!:)
ReplyDelete@G: Badddd indeed! What else would a rebel be??
ReplyDeleteDon't you just hate when some slow person usually with a bunch of kids has their shopping buggy left right in the middle of the aisle & blocking everyone else? Those people get on my last nerve I'm telling ya. Maybe that crazy guy in your story can run them out of the way? LOL!
ReplyDelete@Anonymous: Or they should just have special shopping hours for those that have nothing better to do than wander around ever so slowly with their thumbs up their ass, all the while getting in the way of those of us who shop with purpose and intent!
ReplyDeleteThere is obviously a lot to know about this. I think you made some good points in Features also.
ReplyDeleteecommerce shopping carts