Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Smoking hot... smoking NOT!

After reflecting upon a recent experience, I feel like it is time to get back up on my bitchy little ranter’s box. One of my all-time greatest pet peeves is SMOKING -- especially when done by asshat’s who have zero consideration for those around them.

A few days ago I was meeting someone outside a coffee shop for a business related meeting (and no Steve G. it wasn’t for a nude photo shoot I am sorry to say). Much to my delight, this particular establishment does not allow smoking on their outdoor dining patio or anywhere within 10 feet of the premises. There are large, highly visible signs on the coffee shop doors and windows stating that smoking is not allowed.

I was seated at a table a few feet from the entrance of the coffee shop. Seated directly next to the door and smack-dab in front of a non-smoking sign was an otherwise attractive woman and a less than attractive, somewhat older man. The woman got out a cigarette and let it suggestively dangle from her lips …no doubt inspiring the man to think about what else he would like to have dangling from her mouth …but I digress…

Anyhow, I looked at the woman and then at the cigarette with a bit of the ole evil eye. She did her best to ignore my displeasure. After teasing the man with her cigarette for a few more moments she finally lit the damn thing. Two seconds later in a psychological attempt to mimic chicky-boom-boom’s behavior the man whipped out a nasty cigarette of his own.

Well, I wasn’t having any of that crap so I felt it was time to speak up. There is of course no rationalizing with idiots. When telling Mr. Asshat that smoking wasn’t allowed on the premises he argued that everyone else (all completely imaginary by the way) was smoking so he could as well. I suggested that he refer to the sign above his table. No go. The jackass was determined to keep on smoking. At that point I went a bit dragon lady on him and told him that if he wanted to smoke that was his business but he had no right to poison the rest of us with his smoke --especially not the young baby seated next to my table.

As the show down continued, it occurred to me that I might have to go all kung-fu on his ass but he eventually backed down and put out his vile little cancer stick. All I could think was thank goodness. That and hoo hah! One small victory for the Smoking Police! In honor of that victory, check out this amusing video:

FYI: Along with side effects like yellow teeth and stinky breath, smoking clogs the arteries and causes both heart attacks and strokes. Environmental tobacco smoke (a.k.a. secondhand smoke) contains the same harmful chemicals as the smoke that smokers inhale.

Smoking isn’t sexy and it kills, so please Don’t Do It!


  1. I think you are much braver than I would be. Why are smokers so inconsiderate?
    Well done Empress :)

  2. I am a smoker.

    *waits for backlash*

    But, if I smoke in public, I stay as far away from the majority of the people as possible. And if I'm with friends or family who have kids, I'll leave the area so they don't have to inhale it. I also never smoke inside, not even at home. I've only smoked for about 3 years and I have been thinking about quitting in the off-chance I become pregnant before my boyfriend and I get married.

  3. @Mynx: Thanks for the support. While I am known for being outspoken I generally limit what I say to complete strangers - because you never know what sort of crazy reaction you might get.

    Recently I was told (in the Excuse Me, Your Kid is a Little Monster post) that I should have spoken up. I took that constructive criticism to heart and asserted myself, damn the consequences. Thank god smokey the bear didn't whip out a semi-automatic on me when I told him to stop poisoning the baby seated near me.

    As to why some smokers are inconsiderate, I'm still trying to figure that one out!


    @Erica: I was truly hoping that I wouldn't offend any readers who smoke, so no backlash from me. When you smoke, it sounds like you go out of your way to be considerate to those around you. I understand that smoking is incredibly hard to give up but I hope that for the sake of yourself and your future children you can. Plus you are too cute to be a slave to the ciggies! xo

  4. This post seems to be somewhat of a deviation from the usual funny shit you post. I agree with @Erica about you being brave and speaking your mind. Some people just don't care about anyone but themselves. It is good that you told that guy what was what.

  5. A few days ago I was meeting someone outside a coffee shop for a business related meeting (and no Steve G. it wasn’t for a nude photo shoot I am sorry to say).

    Oh, you know me too well! I'm like an open book, you sly devil. (I imagine saying that in a Will Ferrell as Robert Goulet voice.)

    I also hate smokers. I've broken up with two girlfriends (well, successful dates that would have led to relationships) because they smoked. It doesn't matter if it's pot or cigarettes, both disgust me to a certain degree, and either is a dealbreaker unless the frequency is limited to just when they're drunk.

  6. @Anonymous: Well, it was technically a rant about something that annoys the eff out of me but at the same time I'd rather not alienate the limited number of readers that I have (and I do love and appreciate you all!). I am proud that I spoke up and, as you so eloquently put it, told that guy what was what. Thanks!

    @Steve G: Sly devil, smart cookie, that would be me! And yes, I am on to you! ... Smoking would absolutely be a deal breaker when it comes to dating as far as I'm concerned. Glad to know that I'm not the only one.

  7. My darling granny died of emphysema so I applaud you up there on your rant box. Litterally. I am standing in applause.

  8. *High 5!* You are indeed brave for standing up for everyone else there! I guess we just have to take into account that this approach will work on some people and not with others... Trial and error?

    As I enter the health sector as an undergraduate... I have see only SOME of the effects of smoking on peoples lives that they don't commercialise such as COPD (Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease i.e. bronchitis, asthama, bronchiectasis etc.) which are scarily common. I've worked with people who can't even make it a few meters to the bathroom let alone to their letterbox and back without oxygen or a walking aid.

    They don't tell you that you may not be able to walk to the toilet at age 60 because you can't breathe on those cigarette packets. It's scary...

    There's my own rant for today, thanks A!

  9. I hail from Virginia, so obviously, this "smoking showdown" is all too commonplace here. I never thought I'd live to see the day when smoking would be banned inside all public establishments, particularly when Philip Morris headquarters is mere miles from my door, but that is precisely what happened!

    With that said, most bars and restaurants skirt the law by making their non-smoking sections ridiculously small and/or uncomfortable, and even when patrons light up, these places are only subjected to miniscule fines ($25 bucks I believe) and even then, the likelihood that someone is there to enforce it is even slimmer....

    I've been a non-smoker my entire life, however, I've resigned myself to the fact that people smoke and as disgusting a habit as it may be, it's ultimately a personal decision. Granted, it's nearly impossible to avoid the consequences of that decision, but there are battles I choose to fight, and while I applaud you for taking a stand, it's simply easier for me to speak with my wallet and patronize places that uphold the law (and shun those who do not)

  10. no i agree if it says no smoking then dont smoke ass wipe, especially when theres children about that riles me!! good to listen to your rant :)

  11. I agree that it's all about consideration!
    My hubby smokes but not inside and always goes way away from the crowd to get a smoke. He is very considerate and knows that it's bad, still doesn't want to quit as of yet, but never puts anyone around him at risk with his own personal demon.

  12. Hi All! I am pleased and somewhat surprised by the passionate responses from you all. Who knew my whingeing would illicit such discussion! No doubt there will be plenty more future rants for you to add your perspective, so if you aren't already an official follower I hope you will become one -- and part of my bloggy family. THANKS for your support. - XO The Empress

    @Corianda: Sorry to hear about your granny. After hearing what happend to hear I am now even more pleased that I took a stand.


    @S: Thank you for providing your perspective as (a soon to be) health sector professional. The toll on a person's health from smoking is huge indeed. However, if someone chooses to cause physical harm to themselves that is one thing but causing physical harm to others through secondhand smoke is unacceptable. xo


    @The Back Nine: Thanks for your comment. I'm with you when it comes to patronizing places that uphold the law. This particular individual was the sort of ass that would have tried to smoke in the intensive care unit of a hospital.


    @PrincessBeks: Thanks Princess! I think you summed it all up quite nicely in your comment.


    @G: Your husband sounds considerate when it comes to dealing with his addiction. For his sake I hope that he is one day able to overcome being a slave to cigarettes.

  13. I don't know what to say here... I feel bad... but I love smoking...

    :-( I'm sorry.


  14. @Charles: I'll give you a pass on this one but only because I consider you to be a rockstar in my bloggy world... I hope one day you will be able to give up this vice because some of us would like you to stay around for the long haul. xo


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