Tweedledee, Tweedledum and Tweedledumber

So recently the property in which I reside decided they would finally replace my refrigerator and stove --that they should have replaced six months ago prior to me moving in. Yay for me! Now I was finally going to be able to bake cookies while dancing around in my underwear and tiara --and not have said cookies come out burned around the edges and raw in the middle.

Anyhow, what should have been a relatively simple process that involved removing the old wonky appliances and replacing them with bright, shiny new appliances turned into a majorly convoluted production. All while the entire contents of my refrigerator and freezer sat in my kitchen sink and got hotter than a whore cranking it in 98% humidity…

I should have known that things weren’t going to go according to plan when Tweedledee, the first maintenance technician showed up 30 minutes late for our scheduled appointment -- and was empty-handed. Nary a refrigerator or stove in sight. Tweedledee mumbled something about having to return to his maintenance shop and smoke a joint. And despite my suggesting that upon his departure perhaps he might want to consider taking away one of the defective appliances, he thought otherwise and left as empty-handed as when he arrived.

45 minutes later Tweedledee came back with Tweedledum (maintenance technician #2). Not a f*cking appliance in sight. And neither one of them had the protective booties their employer requires them to wear on their shoes when working inside tenants’ homes. Tweedledee and Tweedledum decided they should go back to their maintenance shop, get their protective booties, smoke another joint, and then upon returning bring up the appliances they had so stupidly left downstairs in the parking garage.

45 minutes more go by and Tweedledee and Tweedledum showed up with Tweedledumber (maintenance technician #3). Somehow by the grace of gawd they actually managed to bring a refrigerator with them but didn’t take into account that they would have to remove the old broken one before the new one could be installed.

It was at that point I started to seriously wonder how in the effing hell any of those shit-for-brains morons could actually get themselves dressed and out of the house in the morning…

But after much trial and tribulation the Tweedles somehow managed to install my new refrigerator. The joy however was short-lived when I realized the refrigerator and freezer doors were installed on the wrong side -- rendering access to said appliance virtually impossible.

Tweedledee, Tweedledum and Tweedledumber decided amongst themselves that they would have to return yet again to the maintenance shop. This time to drink a few beers, text their girlfriends, and maybe get the necessary tools required to switch the appliance doors. … Yes, that is correct …out of three maintenance technicians, not a single one of them had the foresight to bring along any tools necessary for an appliance installation.

30 minutes later the pack of jackasses came back with the tools and proceeded amongst themselves to struggle for another 30 minutes trying to get the appliance doors removed…

And finally, three hours into the whole debacle, the Tweedles finally completed the refrigerator swap. I then had the great pleasure of having to project manage their stoned asses while they attempted to replace my stove…