The Spin Crowd spins out of control

Last night the vowel network otherwise known as E! debuted their latest craptacular reality series called ‘The Spin Crowd’. The show is meant to provide a fly-on-the-wall perspective into the supposedly glamorous world of a celebrity public relations firm called Command PR.

The firm is owned by tool head Jonathan Cheban who is reported to be a whiz when it comes to public relations but in reality is a complete failure when it comes to being an effective leader. Thank gawd Jonathan has his vice president, Simon Huck to balance out his beyond shitty managerial skills. They are also joined by four young female eye-candy worker bees named Erika, Katie, Lauren and whatever the hell her name is…

Poor little newbie Erika was chastised and humiliated in front of the entire office for not dressing glamorous enough to meet Jonathan’s unrealistic Hollywood standards. Jonathan being the employee relations nightmare that he is then asked the other girls in the office to stand up and model their outfits for Erika. All three had short, nearly hoo-ha exposing skirts on. Lauren, not to be outdone, also opted for the highly professional bra-less look to round out her ensemble. I’m guessing that when Erika signed on to her fancy PR gig that she never expected she would have to shop for her work wardrobe at Hookers-R-Us.

And as if that weren’t bad enough, Jonathan also decided that Erika’s lips were far too thin for his liking. He proceeded to pressure her into getting creepy lip injections, telling her that he already made the doctor’s appointment and was personally paying for the procedure. Terrified Erika chickened out at the doctor and opted for temporary 2-hour saline injections instead. When Jonathan found out that Erika hadn’t carried out his ridiculous demands, he threw a first rate temper tantrum and told her that she was homely and needed to step it up.

Simon then offered to give Erika a name of an employment lawyer that she could use to sue Jonathan. But being this is Erika’s big chance to make a name for herself in Hollywood, she is determined to stay put and prove to her jackass of a boss that she can succeed by using her brains and not just her looks. Yeah, we’ll see how that goes…

In an effort to give Jonathan the Tyrant a taste of his own medicine, Simon tricked Jonathan into to undergoing a painful fat freezing procedure. At the doctor’s office Simon chipped away at Jonathan’s self esteem and told him that he is actually a ‘skinny fat person’, made fun of his baggy underwear and his love handles, all while he threatened to upload unflattering mid-procedure photos of Jonathan onto the internet.

At this point I started to wonder WTF any of this had to do with public relations.

Finally the team got around to doing some actual PR work that entailed booking a celebrity to host a party for a new brand of self tanner for men. Command PR decided that Mario Lopez would be the perfect celebrity to endorse said product. During the product pitch Mario kindly reminded Jonathan and Simon that ‘being born Mexican, he already had a natural tan going on’. Despite this fact Mario eventually agreed to host the party and the audience was treated to one of Jonathan’s girls chasing Mario around the party and trying to get him to pose shirtless holding a bottle of the self-tanner. But Mario wasn’t having any of that crap… at least not on camera…

And that my lovelies is the whole shebang in a nutshell. Thirty minutes of incredibly ridiculous, brain-cell-killing television programming produced by none other than Executive Producer Kim Kardashian. To which all I can say is, Kim should be ashamed to have her name attached to this effed-up show. Oh, and someone should report Jonathan to the Department of Labor…
I'm just saying...