Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Insiders and Outsiders on Bachelor Pad

Last night’s 2nd episode of Bachelor Pad continued to deliver on the overly dramatic front. There was further lying, manipulation, strategizing, crying and conniving as participants sub-divided into the cool ‘insiders’ group and the less popular ‘outsiders’ group. Both groups were plotting for domination and ultimately control of the game -- despite looking like a bunch of gross, puking asshats during a hands-free pie eating contest.

Psycho Elizabeth the ‘Bunny Boiler’ still had Kovacs balls in a vice grip and was calling the shots amongst the insiders (Kovacs, Natalie, Jesse B, Tenley, Kiptyn, Dave and a few other morons). Anyone who didn’t get with her program was reminded that their ass would be next on the chopping block. Poor Kovacs wandered around the rest of the show with a concerned look on his face and his tail between his legs. The fact that he managed to get it up long enough to bang Elizabeth in the shower shows just how desperate he is to win the $250,000.

Meanwhile, swimsuit model Gia was clearly running the show amongst the outsiders (Gwen, Peyton, Krisily, Nikki, Craig, the Weatherman plus whomever else they could con over to their side). After Gia won immunity during the girl’s pie eating contest, her plan was to give immunity to creepy Craig thus saving him from being voted off by the insider girls. This plan went well up until the point slime-ball Wes professed his undying love for her during their group date. Gia caved and the rose/immunity went to Wes, leaving Craig as a marked target.

The Weatherman gleefully won immunity during the guy’s pie eating contest. He had a ridiculous group date with Gwen, Peyton and Ashley that entailed them donning swimwear and using their body parts to create a painting. Clueless Weatherman thought he was forming a real love connection with Gwen whom he bestowed with the rose/immunity. Gwen however wasn’t feeling it. She spoke directly into the camera and let everyone know that romance with her and the Weatherman wouldn’t happen in a million years.

Back at the ranch, the scheming continued along with drinking, hot tub hookup’s and various parties campaigning to save their asses from being voted off right up until the last second before elimination. Blah, blah, blah…

By the time the participants were assembled for the elimination ceremony, I honestly didn’t give a shit who got voted off. The only thing that kept me from shutting off the TV was trying to figure out why Natalie thought it would be sexy to wear a Barbie pink tutu and who the eff was responsible for dressing host Chris Harrison in his checkered shirt and polka dot tie ensemble.

In the end Jessie S. and Craig were sent home. Hopefully they are now thanking their lucky stars that neither of them has to endure another day of the jackassery that is otherwise known as Bachelor Pad …because this show sucks!


  1. How Bizarre. I can't believe you sat through it all. I know I said I might like to watch it when you previously posted on it but I think I might have something else on that night, whatever night they might choose to screen it, assuming the networks here are silly enough to buy it. Luckily the most popular reality show here in Aus is a cooking show. :)

  2. @Mynx: Bizarre indeed. I really struggled watching the show last night and even more so when I tried to write a recap. Hopefully my 'dedication' will spare anyone else wasting a perfectly good evening. Bachelor Pad is absolute drivel! ... I imagine OZ has enough sense not to air a show like this one ; )

  3. This show is pretty pathetic. Hopefully those who were previously unaware won't waste their time watching it. Like who really cares what happens to these washed up reality whores?

  4. Everyone about this show makes my skin crawl.

  5. Holy moly.

    What if one of them has VD?

    They will all be infected.

    I am concerned.


  6. @Anonymous: Too right! I'm guessing no one probably cares and hopefully the ratings will support this fact.

    @Steve G: That is pretty bad Steve. If you can't even find a hot girl from the show to comment on then ABC really missed the mark with this train wreck. I definitely won't be wasting future blog posts on the show.


    @ Charles: VD is probably a casting pre-requisite.

  7. I am so very glad you watch that show so I don't have too!!! People will do anything for there fifteen minutes of fame ( where do I sign up...lol) Your take on it is better than actually watching it. Thanks for the post!

  8. @The Chick in the Chair Perspective: You are so welcome. Please know that I'm not really sure I have it in me to endure another week of watching this crap. Surely the network can do better than this gawd awful excuse for a show.

  9. I'm sure I couldn't watch that show for more than about five minutes. But your commentary on it makes compelling reading!

  10. you cannot believe how impressed i am that you can not only sit through the show, but come up with a completely sarcastic yet disturbingly accurate synopsis of the show - props!


  11. @Claire: Why thank you. Seriously though, you are too kind. It was a major struggle to try and string a few sentences together describing that hot mess.

    @Adam: Yay! Sarcasm is good! I'll take the props any way I can get them. Shall I hire you as my blog pimp? ; )

  12. When I was younger, I used to make my older brother watch shitty reality shows similar to the ghastly one you are painstakingly watching purely for your readers entertainment (muchos gracias by the way!) He got fed up one day and said he would rather make a little fire in front of the tv, put some pokers in it, heat them up, take them out of the fire, when they were red hot and STICK THEM IN HIS EYESSSS. I thought he was most odd but now I realise he was just desperate.

  13. @Corianda: Wise brother because most of the reality genre shows have progressivley gotten worse over the course of time. ...And you are most welcome! : )

  14. Yet another episode of "reality" has escaped the clutches and been presented to public. They really should just film these and then burn them.

  15. @Erica: I'm with you about the burning part -- or even better yet, perhaps they shouldn't film them at all.

  16. @ Empress - Well, there are definitely some hot girls on the show, no question. However, even I want some personality and morals with my hotness. Hot girls can get away with a little bit more, but they still can't treat people like these ridiculous narcissists.

  17. @Steve: You sum those little famewhores up just perfectly. I agree that hotness combined with personality and morals is a great combination.


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