Sunday, August 15, 2010

I have a dream … to get BON’ed

Once upon a time there was a young snarky blogger named The Ranter’s Box. For as long as she could remember she dreamed of becoming a writer, but not just any old writer. The Ranter’s Box wanted to become a wonderfully fantabulous, famous best-selling author with lots and lots of adoring fans. Next to eating cupcakes and reading books, writing was her greatest passion and one true love.

Over the years the necessity of having to have a ‘real’ job overshadowed her dream of becoming a writer. The Ranter’s Box discovered that in the business world she was very skilled at solving problems and telling people what to do. Somehow she managed to find a way to incorporate writing into her work but even so business writing was never the same as being able to write in her own true voice. Eventually her dream of becoming a real writer began to fade away and was all but forgotten.

Every so often someone close to her would mention that she should write a book or at the very least start a blog. However, the thought of anyone being interested in reading what she had to say sort of scared her. The Ranter’s Box contemplated becoming a blogger for several months until she finally realized that it was time to reclaim a very important part of who she was. Ever determined, she proudly proclaimed she was a writer and hell be damned she was going to start using her god given talents!

For the first few weeks she didn’t tell a soul, not even her best friend forever, that she had started a blog. Slowly but surely like the little engine that could, people that she didn’t even know started reading what she had to say -- and they liked it! It made The Ranter’s Box feel incredibly good when people wrote to her and told her that her writing was entertaining and made them laugh.

Once she regained a bit of her confidence The Ranter’s Box decided that her next goal was to get B.O.N.’ed (Blog of Note) and ultimately become the next Empress of the Blogging World. By becoming royalty in the blogosphere she would then be able to:

• Share her wit with countless followers and bring a smile to their day.

• Happily and proudly wear her sparkly tiara just like a real empress.

• Dance around in her underwear overcome with joy at being B.O.N.’ed.

• Honor her vampire genes and stay up all night writing magnificent masterpieces.

• Celebrate living her dreams by eating lots and lots of delicious chocolate cupcakes.

• Negotiate a book deal, go on tour, meet Prince Charming and live happily ever after!

And that my lovelies is how it all started… To be continued


  1. You are one of my favs..with that said, I think you actually have to bone someone to become a blog of note LOL BUT.....
    Hold fast your dreams!
    Within your heart
    Keep one still, secret spot
    Where dreams may go,
    And, sheltered so,
    May thrive and grow
    Where doubt and fear are not.
    O keep a place apart,
    Within your heart,
    For little dreams to go!~Louise Driscoll

  2. Good luck, Empress! I know Annah has now gotten it twice, so maybe she can send some BoN love your way.

  3. @Donda: Thank you my dear! ... As for having to bone someone, is he at least cute? ; )

    I really appreciate the words of inspiration.
    xo The Empress

  4. @Steve G: Thanks! I'm starting to feel the love tonight and it feels GOOD!! ... Yes, perhaps I can work Annah into my master plan. If the current reigning queen of the blogging world decides to love me then maybe the B.O.N.'ers will get with the program too.

    From a male perspective, do you think dancing around in one's underwear while wearing a tiara and eating cupcakes is sexy? ; )

  5. Empress, you are definitely well on your way. I sure do hope the continued aspect of the "to be continued" is that you do actually get B.O.Ned! Fingers crossed for your B.O.Ning x

  6. If I knew where to vote I would vote for you to get B.O.N.ed Empress. Loving what you are writing and I am looking forward to a pic of you in a tiara, your underwear, eating chocolate.(or cupcakes)Hugs :)

  7. Good luck! I think Donda was right....sexual favors must be involved.

    I'm not sure if I'd sleep with someone or not to get BONed. Probably eventually after all of my blogging buds got BONed and I was the only one left.....then yeah.

  8. I'm sure you're well on your way to a B.O.N. nod, just keep doing what you're doing. Perhaps Annah would be willing to sprinkle some of her "Blogging Pixie Dust" on you to bring some extra luck. I'm rooting for you! Then, once you've become Empress, perhaps you could adopt me into your royal family. I'd make a great Duchess, I'm just sayin'. :)

  9. "• Share her wit with countless followers and bring a smile to their day."

    In this, we have the same goal. Your posts always bring a smile to my day.

  10. That sounds like such a great life!! I don't know what it is, but the more "hardcore" writers who want to actually do something about their talent have a harder time getting it out there for fear of people actually reading what they have to say. (Good example: Charles who's been working on his book for over a year). Not that there's anything wrong with it. It just makes me a little sad because I feel for them and I want them to have the confidence to do what they need to do.
    Anyway, I'm already writing too much (sorry). So you want your box to get BON'd, eh? Haha...don't we all. I'm sure it will happen sooner than you think. I am now a devout follower (sounds like a cult...), and I will be giving you my support as best I can! :-)


  12. your story sounds eerily similar to mine - i enjoy writing snarkiness (word?) and haven't told a soul about my blog, i think i'd rather people i don't know find it and read it :)

    Good luck and you will be B.O.N.ed soon enough!

  13. I feel so loved and appreciated by all of you. Thank you so much for your kind words. I am beyond touched! Blog Pimps are always welcome by the way!

    @Corinada: Merci for the finger crossing. You shall be my good luck charm! xo

    @Mynx: I do wonder if somewhere there is an actual voting panel for deciding who gets BON'ed. It's great knowing that I would have your vote. Hugs right back at you!

    @Jess: Sexual favors, hah! I wonder what that would entail? ; )

    @Erica: Great mights think alike. Thank you for your support in working towards my goal. You have my support as well. Bringing happiness to others is a great motivator for me.

  14. @Jera: Perhaps the challenging part is that writing is so deeply personal and sharing it exposes both your thoughts and feelings for all to judge. I hope you will keep encouraging Charles because his writing is special. ...Getting BON'ed whichever way sounds good to me! Merci for your support in becoming the next Empress of the Blogging World. xo


    @Donda: Thank you for the awards! How do they actually work? I'm a bit daft about all that stuff. Would be helpful to know so that I can bestow awards to others as well.


    @Adam V: I appreciate you support. Coming from another writer that means a lot to me. ...In my little world 'snarkiness' is a word. I come up will all sorts of new words that I incorporate into my writing and thus far people seem to understand what I am referring to. ... As for keeping your writing a secret, I hope that you do eventually tell the people in your life. It is good to get support and feedback from them as well. ...Here's to getting BON'ed!

  15. Keep up the ranting, am sure that you are already on in your royal court. May i be your pageboy?

  16. Ranter:There are many things you can do to help you get boned. Not all of them are pretty, but they will work.

    You can: wear low cut tops and short skirts
    talk in a slow smooth seductive voice
    wink at any man you see
    act all bubbly and flirty all the time
    act ditsy and drunk
    wear a t-shirt that says "i need someone to bone me"

    I hope these tips help.

    Oh wait... you meant "blog of note"....

    Disregard this post.

  17. @Mthoko: HA! And thank you. I shall bestow you with the title of pageboy upon my becoming BON'ed!


    @Charles: Silly Charles! Of course I meant Blog of Note ...but the other part could be fun as well I suppose. I'll let you know how that goes!


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