Ok, I’ll admit it. I am rather fond of swearing. At times I’m certain I could give a sailor or a truck driver a run for their money when it comes to being a potty mouth. Catch me in the car stuck in nightmare traffic and sometimes I even amaze myself with the never-before-heard naughty word combinations I come up with. They. Are. Shocking.
But it’s not just the car that sets off my colorful language. I am a full-on equal opportunity curser. Perhaps I was born this way. Just ask the bus driver I called all sorts of vile names when I was a mere 5 years old. All that particular incident required was a wee bit of encouragement by the older kids and I was delightfully spewing every single bad word that was whispered into my ear.
Having my mouth washed out as a child on more than a few occasions did however help me realize that I needed to sensor where and around whom that I swore. Because of this I tend to refrain from using profanity around kids or the elderly, in church or other environments where a certain standard of decorum is required. In business environments I also tend to err on the side of caution until I suss out the communication styles of the various players. And because I don’t look like someone who gleefully punctuates my sentences with dirty words, sometimes people are actually shocked as shit to hear me curse. Secretly I kind of delight in that fact. But then if you read my blog with any sort of regularity you probably already figured this out.
Now for those of us who do indulge in the use of four-letter words, we all tend to have at least a word or two that we particularly enjoy using. Mine just so happens to be the eff word and all its wonderful variations, be they nouns, adjectives or verbs. Who knew that the root of a single word could be so multidimensional when it comes to expressing both thoughts and feelings? Case in point, check out this amusing video:
So, whether you refer to the use of expletives as commonplace, vulgar or outright blasphemous, for me there is nothing quite like getting your cuss on. …I’m just saying…
OMG that bout made me cry. I thought about my MILs funky ass McCall that barks like a damn guard dog when you walk in the door...OH how I would love to just tell it to shut the fuck up and then it learn to say it over and over again!
ReplyDeleteConcerning the diversity of the "F" word, I am reminded of a scene from Boondock Saints. Anyone who has seen the movie would know what I'm talking about. Anyone who hasn't, should. My favorite is also the "F" word.
ReplyDelete@Donda: Hopefully happy cry! I'm sure you can quietly teach the bird a few choice words. If it can bark then surely it can curse. Please let me know if you need any suggestions for really naughty words!!
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@Erica: Thanks for the movie tip. Yay, here's to the "F" word and all its glory!
"Fuck off you twat!"
ReplyDeleteHAHAH! That was HIGHlarious. The fact that the guy who owns him still laughs uncontrollably at his parrot's profane vocabulary makes it all the more funny.
I heart you Empress.
x
Corianda
http://corianda-corianda.blogspot.com
@Corianda: The bird is still making me laugh! Glad you enjoyed his foul little rant. I heart you too my dear. xo
ReplyDeleteHahaha! That parrot is something else! I'm prone to use the odd swear word myself when provoked, a habit that started at an early age, despite my mother's attempts to stop me - like putting hot mustard in my mouth every time I swore....all that did was put me off eating the *£$%ing condiment.
ReplyDeleteThat parrot is hilarious! Really enjoyed that video.
ReplyDelete"Shocked as shit." Haha! I too love to swear and the f-word in all forms is my favorite.
ReplyDeleteNot to be one of "those" bloggers who link drops, but I wanted you to see this post: http://www.momsoap.com/?p=111
I also can swear like a merchant marine. But when I had a particularly sweary blog (becasue people piss me off!) my mom, my neighbor & 3 people from my church told me my blog would be "more effective" if I didn't swear so much.
ReplyDeleteAnd -- becasue I am such a goddamn people-fucking-pleaser -- I havent' sworn much (on my blog) ever since.
I'm pretty tacky on Bitchy Waiter tho.
http://giftoffat.blogspot.com/
Hahaha.
ReplyDeleteI am trying to teach my cat to swear like that parrot now.
Progress is slow.
http://arealgoodblog.blogspot.com
I'm a little back and forth on the subject of swearing.
ReplyDeleteIf I'm being honest, I really don't swear all that much. In some situations, excessive swearing just makes a person sound unintelligent. That person could be a genius, but if they pull out the f-bomb during a formal speech in front of a bunch of intellectuals, people are going to write them off as having an inferior intellect.
However, in more casual situations, I can't help laughing my head off when people start ranting in full cuss-out mode. It's hilarious!
I also agree completely with my uncle who, on the subject of cussing, claims: "Sometimes there's just no other way to say it."
In a nutshell, I guess I would say that I'm a believer in the idea of "right place, right time". Are you confused? If so, I apologize. :)
http://candicesstories.blogspot.com/
Swearing like a sailor. Arr!! Haha. That turtle looks kinda creepy..
ReplyDeleteand you really are too kind with your words! Heh. Your blog is pretty up there too :)
@Nat: Hot mustard, eh? That is an interesting punishment. Still swearing I see ; )
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@Display Name: Thanks for the props! I love knowing that I bring a bit of joy into your day. After all, who couldn't use a laugh now and again?
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@Martha: Kindred spirits!! Link drop away. Doing so is welcome on my blog. I want this to be an interactive experience and that includes people promoting their blogs or other amusing sites to visit.
@Mary A: Own it girlfriend! I get that some people might be offended by overly sweary blog posts. But I also think that blogs generally represent the personality of the writer. Why change to please others when it is impossible to please everyone? ... I love the Bitchy Waiter. You know that you can just say whatever you think because that is exactly what he does!
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@Charles: Slow progress is to be expected. If anyone can accomplish that feat it will be you. Just make sure you post a video ; )
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@Candice: I totally get it. Everything has a time and a place. If a person swears just to swear or they are incapable of experessing themselves in any other fashion then I do think it is sad. But cursing that is done is a somewhat intelligent manner can be rather effective. For me, swear words are like forms of punctuation. And your uncle is right, sometimes there is just no other way to say something!
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@linnykins: Sorry the turtle came across as creepy. I think it is actually some sort of swearing toy. Go figure! ... Merci! Positive feedback always makes my day!! xo
i curse like a sailor. or so i've been told. i've not actually met a sailor, so i cannot say whether i swear like one or not.
ReplyDeletehowever, i wouldn't use language like that in 'mixed' company. it stays at home, in my blog, with my friends, in the car, and under my breath while out in public being pissed off by people.
http://justanotherwastedday.blogspot.com/
@Steph gas: Welcome to my little bloggy world! And thanks for the blog love! Very cool that you swear like a sailor but still have the good sense to do so in the appropriate environment.
ReplyDeleteI swear like a mother fucker. It's my little homage to dear old Mom. It's the least I can do after she took the time to teach me so well.
ReplyDeleteOh, hell!!
ReplyDeleteHad my mouth washed out with Ivory soap and still said afterwards with hands on my not formed yet 11 year old hips, "Sooo? (na-na-na-boo-boo) I still fucking mean it"!LOL!
If you cannot say f*ck with a straight face and mean it with every fiber of your being in the way it is implied in context to your comment, than you can't be my friend!I have serious problems with babies as I tend to talk baby talk to them and unconsciously say cuss words in baby talk...so sad, and I can never have a bird for this reason!
fantastic! i used to swear like a sailor until 5 months ago, when i was laid off from my old job - which i credit with my very creative use of the 'eff' word, amongst others.
ReplyDeletei rarely throw together strings of bleeps together anymore, but i will yell at other drivers in my car - usually "effen ass-clown".
keep up the good work!
http://lifeonrye.blogspot.com
@Elly Lou: Thanks for chiming in! Swearing like a MF'er is welcome here anytime! I think I can credit the same individual with enhancing my colorful vocabulary when I was young and impressionable.
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@G: That is HILARIOUS! nana nana boo boo!
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@Adam V: Thanks for the props! Here's to car swearing! There is something oddly gratifying about it.