In an ongoing attempt to appease your pervy little appetites, I did some additional spicy research over at TLC’s kooky and somewhat shocking show called Strange Sex. Please meet Jonah our subject for the day:
Now I don’t know about you but if Jonah brought that thing anywhere near me I think I would have to book him on charges of assault with a deadly salami…
Happy Hump Day my lovelies!
xo The Empress
If I was hung like that I would double as a male slut for hire (for the ladies) and also as a doctor who does the histirectomies (spelling?). You could do two things at one time.
ReplyDeleteDamn. I'm surprised he doesn't walk a little funnier.
ReplyDeleteIf only he were a little cuter, I'd take him for a test drive...
ReplyDelete@Oilfield Trash: Or, he could bang a woman and she could blow him at the same time ; )
ReplyDelete@J.Day: Maybe he tapes the monster down?
@Mrs. Hyde: Ha! I like them big but yikes...
I'm speechless. I won't make it a habit.
ReplyDeleteI can't watch the video since they have it blocked, but I have been talking about this for two days now.. holy cow.. I think I would give that length a hot, but not that girth.. that would ruin a girl.. ouch.
ReplyDeleteamberlashell.com
@VinnyC: Me too.
ReplyDelete@AmberLaShell: Hmm...the video link is working and there is nothing pornographic in the video clip. Maybe try it again? ...Good on you for being willing to give the length a go. You are very brave ; )
Once again, TLC proves that the acronym no longer stands for "The Learning Channel." Those dumb assholes. I guess it is better than toddlers in tiaras, though.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I don't see why people get so hung up on dick size anyway... no dick in the world can do what a properly trained tongue and two index fingers can do. Period. Anyone who thinks otherwise is lying to themselves.
I wish I had a tongue on my dick...
I wish girls had clitorises in their throats.
I should have stopped typing sentences ago.
http://arealgoodblog.blogspot.com
Damn video doesn't play with my tricky temporary interwebz connection. Damn it. I will see it later though. All of it. Big beast.
ReplyDeleteI don't know why people think big is best. I mean yeah, you might want a little bit of oomph there, but no one wants to muzzle something that looks like a football player's leg, with their cookie. Unless their cookie belongs to Paris Hilton.
zoinks
ReplyDeletenice dong!
That dude needs to buy it a hat and make it a side show act. Bring in a little coin with that thing.
ReplyDelete@Charles: You are in fine form today my friend, however I beg to differ on your theory. There is nothing quite like a nice big ding dong that is properly operated by its owner. ...As for the rest of your comment, I'm having scary visions right now and need to go look for some brain bleach ; )
ReplyDelete@The Vegetable Assassin: OMG! That is classic. Now P. Hilty getting banged with that donger would be one hilarious video for sure!!
@Bruce: Holy mother effing hell, can you believe it is real?
@j-tony: He is probably working on getting 'it' a manager as we speak...
ReplyDeleteBig dicks are over-rated, women love my tiny penis. At least, that's what they say.
ReplyDeleteYep, ok...do not need to be pondering this.
ReplyDeleteThanks for that Empress lol
The funny part is.. there's a fetish for that. My mind is scarred, I shouldn't be so curious!
ReplyDeleteSend him here and I'll check it out and let you know! hehe.
ReplyDeleteI have been with 10 plus but NOT with that girth. That girth is NOT okay! Just walking down the street that guys man meat was just chilling in his pants visibly...creepy. I watched that and was pretty horrified. I love that he wants to be a legit actor and finds porn beneath him...he's missing out on a lot of money! There is no way that thing would get near me though-poor guy...always a novelty never a boyfriend.
ReplyDeleteYeah, that's too big. Ouch.
ReplyDeletemaybe it would be less threatening if Jonah dressed it up in a top hat and bow tie before he goes out?
ReplyDeletehttp://mind-numbingmediocrity.blogspot.com
I'm sorry, Empress, but without actually SEEING it, sounds like hearsay to me -- and, I seem to be missing a pair of socks... But, appreciate the post.
ReplyDeleteDisconcerting but I imagine he was great at the three legged race at school as he wouldn't need to be strapped to anyone.
ReplyDeleteIs it weird that I watched that multiple times?
ReplyDeletefrick...maybe I need to get laid.
@Tony Van Helsing: Of course they do.
ReplyDelete@Mynx: Rather frightening isn't it?
@D4: It's like a train wreck, how can you not look?
@Bouncin' Barb: Woo hoo! Way to offer to take one for the team!!
@Jewels: It was rather obvious the way it was hanging down his pants wasn't it? Novelty for sure!
@The Tsaritsa: MAJOR ouchy!
@Mr. Mediocre: I'm guessing his 'man staff' will serve as the cane?
@SharleneT: You know this is a classy blog here and therefore no pornography is allowed. So sorry to disappoint, but if you look closely at the video you can make out the edges of his pocket rocket.
@David L Macaulay: Telling him so when he was just a wee lad probably made him feel better ;)
@AbsolutelyPrimed: Not at all!
one word "OUCH"
ReplyDeleteI know that the "technical" aspect of sex is to recreate, but I don't think that I would enjoy feeling like I was giving birth on every down thrust. Oy! O_O
ReplyDelete@Becca: Too right matey!
ReplyDelete@Katsidhe: Seriously. Makes you wonder how much that man sausage actually weighs...
Oh my. He should have a sign that reads, "You must have delievered a large baby to be able to get on this ride."
ReplyDeleteShit, I can't watch this right now but I definitely have to catch it later.
ReplyDeleteI've watched a few episodes of this show...not a shocker. haha
Dudes don't let other dudes watch this.
ReplyDeleteOkay, two things:
ReplyDelete1. It's not the wand, it's the magician.
2. Is it just me, or does Jonah look a tad feminine? Maybe it's the haircut/color.
@Barsola: Thanks for chiming in! Maybe officals could make him have that warning tattooed on his man sausage?
ReplyDelete@CkretsGalore: So, you appreciate the well endowed as well? ; )
@Copyboy: No they don't. But naughty Empresses encourage viewing of slightly risque things such as this.
@On My Soapbox: Agree with you completely about the magician thing. And yes, Jonah does look a tad bit odd.
Yeah...I don't think I would ever want anything that big.
ReplyDeletehttp://theadorkableditzmissteps.blogspot.com/