On Saturday night, April 2, 2011, He Who Shall NOT Be Named, aka the self-proclaimed warlock with tiger blood and Adonis DNA, bombed the opening night of his “My Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat is Not an Option” comedy tour at the Fox Theatre in Detroit, Michigan.
The show proved to be an absolute hot mess, with porn stars singing the National Anthem and the warlock himself (unsurprisingly) spewing nonsensical rants and gibberish about trolls and crack.
The warlock tried to spice the show up a bit by having his so-called “Goddesses” make out for the crowd after which he instructed them to ceremoniously burn his bowling shirt from Two and a Half Men. None of which worked…
Disgruntled audience members were reported to have vigorously heckled and booed the warlock, with many of them chanting that they wanted a refund before bailing en masse from the theatre. Not what anyone would consider winning by any means.
Next up on the tour roster is the unfortunate city of Chicago, Illinois. Gawd forbid…
Well poor Chicago. Because unless he has a stash of bowling shirts to burn they are really going to miss out. LOL. :)
ReplyDeleteI heard he told them "I already got your money. Winning!!!"
ReplyDeleteA refund? Those people went to the show because they saw Mr. Tigerblood himself lose his shit on TV. They expected something different?
ReplyDeleteI had no idea he was going to do this, what an absolute cock. Where you there?
ReplyDeleteWe've really come low to pay to see a man self-destruct. How could none of them know that this was a very ill individual. Forget that he's spoiled (rich from too early an age), narcissistic, and a hair-trigger temper. The bottom line was this man was going down with drug overload and the Xns rushed out to watch the lions devour him. Where were the money men when this all started? Oh, yah, cashing their checks.
ReplyDeleteThis can't be fixed but can it be stopped? Has everyone lost their money based on pre-sales? Having watched real-world people drink themselves into a bottle and the drug-choked fools hover on the brink, this is so not a pretty picture.
I hurt, watching it happen.
omg what can i say nothing really..love that you could write a great post off this you're amazing
ReplyDeleteWinning!! Or not.
ReplyDeleteI'm amazed people paid money to see this shit.
ReplyDeleteRumor has it he is supposed to make a stop in an arena near my home. I am so not looking forward to it... but if he bombs everywhere you go, maybe there won't even be any traffic to contend with!
ReplyDeleteevery where HE goes, not you go
ReplyDelete@Smart Ass Sara: Poor Chicago indeed. However, I imagine he probably has a truckload of those shirts from all the years the show was on tv.
ReplyDelete@Oilfield Trash: To which they promptly replied "You suck" ...and then he put his tail between his legs and left the stage and didn't return.
@Jeff: I have to agree with your point. There is no way in hell I would have paid to see that crap.
@Tony Van Helsing: Live Nation has an entire tour booked for him, something like 20 shows. And no, I definitely wasn't there ...but I always do my research before reporting : )
@SharleneT: It is sad that people would pay to see a person self-destruct and it is just as shameful that the tour promoters would give him a contract to begin with. However, there is the small chance that The Warlock knows exactly what he is doing and is laughing all the way to the bank. Only time will tell...
@becca: Thanks for your kind words. I figured you guys would be fed up with hearing about the guy and therefore I almost didn't write this post.
@Al Penwasser: I'm thinking NOT at this particular stage of the game.
@On My Soapbox: Seriously. Talk about money wasted!
@Furry Bottoms: You should make t-shirts that say "everywhere he goes, you go not". I'm sure you would make a boat load of dosh if you sold them outside the arena of your hometown - especially after the show.
ReplyDeletef*ckity f*ck F*ck...
ReplyDeletef*cktard...
dumbass...even i know when to bail...
I don't think I would *pay* to see it, but I would've loved to witness this hawt mess. =P
ReplyDeletePeople pay to see this crap. People still watch Jerry Springer. People are fanatics about these reality shows where people are drunk, fighting and have zero self respect. Who do we blame? Charlie? We feed these sickos. Except here in my home anyway!! Good post Empress.
ReplyDelete@Bruce: Apparently he doesn't...
ReplyDelete@Katsidhe: There are videos up on the net. Give the google monster a whirl and no doubt you'll find yourself a few minutes of free entertainment.
@Bouncin' Barb: No feeding of the warlock in my house either, especially not feeding of the "cookie" kind (see my empress phraseology if in doubt as to what I am referring). xo
And the fact this happened should be a surprise to absolutely no one. You know, the man's a fool but really, who's the bigger fool? Might it be any person who'd fork out money to see that douche on a stage talking nonsense?
ReplyDeleteThe torpedo was a dud.
ReplyDeleteI would like to smoke rocks with Mr. Sheen...
ReplyDeleteI bet he'd smoke my ass under the table though...
http://arealgoodblog.blogspot.com
@The Vegetable Assassin: So right you are! I noticed that you still aren't saying his name either. Love it!
ReplyDelete@Copyboy: Let's see if he actually makes it through to all of his scheduled appearances on the tour ...most likely not...
@Charles: Although his partying sounds rather legendary, he really isn't all that fun to hang with. Trust me on this.
When I heard about that shit I almost passed the hell out with laughter! Is Charlie losing yet?
ReplyDeleteThat doesn't surprise me. I knew from the mere mention of a tour show that it was gonna be a flop.
ReplyDelete@Thundercat832: According to the show attendees in NYC, yes.
ReplyDelete@The Adorkable Ditz: Too right sister!!