Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Gee, how could you pass up an offer like this?

Over the recent holidays one of my relatives came across a sign audaciously posted by some total wackadoodle advertising for what is essentially free labor:

So, if you are into chauffeuring around some ungrateful f*cktard, battling parking lot madness, and waiting in the car for extended periods of time in exchange for the amazing opportunity to read crusty old magazines and catalogs, this would have been the gig for you. Maybe next year …if you’re really effing lucky

On another note, I want to send a great big thank you to some wonderfully generous bloggers who have be so kind over the past few weeks as to bestow me with a few much appreciated blog awards. And while I don’t ever play by the rules and answer all those personal questions that generally accompany the awards, I do feel honored and make every effort to proudly place the awards over in the Royal Award Whore trophy case on the right-hand side of my blog.

Special thanks to Chief aka Dad at Unsound Reasonings, Becca at My Life, J.Day at The Ramblings of Charlie Brown , and Jeff at Content Unrelated who all showered me with the “Life is Good” award. Also, a hearty thank you to Becca who also bestowed me with the “Stylish Blogger Award”.

And thank you also to those of you who continue to pimp out my snarky ass on a regular basis!

xo The Empress


  1. Wow, I bet they were lining up round the block and fighting each other for the privilege of ferrying that woman around those stores, huh! WTF?????? Many question marks necessary.

  2. haha, who could possibly resist reading old copies of Victoria's Secret catalogs with some of the pages mysteriously stuck together?! WHERE CAN I SIGN UP?? :P

  3. Congrats on the award and man that guy sounds dumb haha.


  4. Shit, if that's the case I'm gonna post an add for someone to hold my hand in the restroom after another wild night of cheese munching ;)

  5. congrats!

    loved the co-jones on that person...hell i don't even want to go and do my effiing shopping, why would i want to drag some non-spelling (best buys)jackweasle around all day...

    mebbe they just did it to see if they would get some ViralNotariety...


    bruce johnson jadip
    stupid stuff i see and hear
    Bruce’s guy book
    the guy book
    Dreamodel Guy

  6. Who would be dim enough to take up that offer? He sure has a lot of nerve putting up that sign. Get your ass on a bus or start hoofin' it, I say. If you can afford to buy stuff at all those places, you can afford bus fare. Sheesh.

    Congrats on the awards!

  7. @The Vegetable Assassin: Some people are so up themselves it is ridiculous!

    @theTsaritsa: Oh gosh, I think I want to sign up with you too, especially since you reminded me about the crusty VS catalogs ; )

    @The Adorkable Ditz: Dumb is right, but you just know that some twit probably responded to that crazy ad!

    @Falen aka Thundercat832: Ha! Do tell more about this cheese munching thing...

    @Bruce: Thanks my friend. You caught the jacked up spelling of all those stores too?

    @On My Soapbox: Too right matey!

  8. Your snarky ass is just awesome!!!

  9. wow.... people are amazing

  10. Ok- so am I the only one bummed out that nobody showed up to take a picture of this guy? Or bitch him out? Or does that make me a bad person that I would actually do that?

  11. Driving around, looking for parking spaces, etc is the worst part of Christmas shopping...who the hell would want to do that and not have the fun of actually buying? That is ridiculous! Thanks for sharing! haha.

  12. @Bouncin' Barb: Right back at you!

    @Emily: Aren't they though?

    @Poetry of the Day: Why thank you!

    @Smart Ass Sara: I would be right there with you sister bitching his ass out big time!

    @Jewels: Some people are just so stupid and self-absorbed : )

  13. That right there seems like it was written by a damn serial killer.

  14. haha yea i see some idiot showing up there to do just that "here's your sign" and you are welcome you totally deserve the award

  15. I cannot believe someone actually had the audacity to post a sign like that. Wow. I wonder if anyone actually showed up? lol

  16. Congratulations Dear Empress on the awards! And that sign made me laugh out loud!

  17. excuse me, but hasn't he ever heard of public transport? Or walking.
    But you got to admit he has balls.
    Lucky he didn't get mugged for his spending money

  18. I'd actually go to meet that person. And then throw a supersize slushee on them. Grape.

  19. That is the weirdest thing I've ever seen.

    And congrats on your awards!

  20. I'm with smart ass Sarah... a follow up would have been brilliant! LOL What a shmuck.

  21. Congrats!!!! Hmmm....I kinda wonder what the magazines were???

  22. I don't trust anyone who says "these ones."

  23. @Oilfield Trash: That one didn't occur to me. Let's hope he didn't make dinner of some poor unspecting person that thought they were helping him out.

    @Becca: : )

    @J.Day: If there are wankers out there stupid enough to post a sign like that then surely there are idiots out there daft enough to respond.

    @Cinderita: Laughter is a good thing to share!

    @The Restaurant Manager: You are so welcome : )

    @Mynx: Big balls indeed ...although they are probably droopy and smelly ; )

    @Danger Boy: Ha! You've given this some thought huh?

    @Jumble Mash: Just when we think we've seen it all...

    @Gwen Styles: Major effing schmuck indeed!

    @Chief aka Dad: You just know they were pervy magazines ; )

    @Bagel Fairy: And that would just be the starting point re: what is wrong with that hot mess of a person!

  24. Aw man, I'm upset that I missed this opportunity. If I buy him lunch and rub his feet after all that shopping, maybe I can wipe out the competition for next year.

  25. I'm late to the party here but, first, congrats. Second, how come no one told me we could advertise for idiots for hire?


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