Thursday, January 20, 2011
The Big O …times two
By now many of you have probably heard that the The Big O, otherwise known as her highness Oprah Winfrey, has started her own television network. Not too shabby of an accomplishment I must say but certainly not the sort of scintillating or debaucherous news that would keep you my lovelies entertained for very long.
Keeping this in mind I did a little internet trolling and discovered that there just might be a show or at least an eyebrow raising episode on Ms. Winfrey’s network that would pacify your pervy little minds. Here is what I found:
(***WARNING: This post contains lots of naughty talk about SEX. If you find this topic offensive please come back tomorrow or go find yourself a boring little blog about bird watching in the 19th century***)
Anyhoo, there is a show on the Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN) called In the Bedroom with Dr. Laura Berman. The show is about SEX and is hosted by a real, live sex researcher and therapist who makes house calls to help couples faced with intimacy issues.
On January 3, 2011 an episode aired on OWN called Sex and the Laundry Basket. (Yes, that is really the name of the episode and you can click on the link if you want to see the actual video clip lest you think I’m making this shit up. Just watch the first minute and you should be good otherwise keep reading for my word pervy recap.)
Apparently a suburban couple named Steve and Becky are having a little trouble in the bedroom department. It seems that Becky likes to enjoy sexy time with her purple plastic laundry basket and the PPLB is the only thing that can curl her toes and give her a BIG O.
Her poor hubby Steve, otherwise known as Mr. Mom has no choice but to go along with Becky’s naughty little antics. Word has it that Mr. Mom has a really big ding dong which brings discomfort to Becky whenever they are trying to play a round of hide the salami.
Add to the salacious scenario the fact that Mr. Mom likes to head down south and engage in a bit of fur munching. Becky however is not down with the oral stuff and says that it tickles too much for her to enjoy. Poor sexually deprived Becky therefore has to resort to rubbing one out on the underside of her beloved laundry basket because this is the ONLY thing that gets her off.
Now, I don’t know about you, but I can’t decide which is worse, Oprah for allegedly proclaiming that she handpicks each of the shows on her new network and this is the best that she could muster up OR crazy Becky for complaining about having a husband with a big cockadoodledoo that loves to eat cookies OR Steve for agreeing to have his sexual abilities questioned on national television. …I’m just saying…