Friday, June 25, 2010

Winner of the Ugly Vehicle Award: The Minivan!

To me, minivans have to be about the most butt-ugly vehicles ever to hit the roadway. I know for a fact that I am not the only one to feel this way about the boxy, clunky, highly unattractive, traffic impeding contraption otherwise known as the dreaded minivan. Kids, SUV driving soccer moms, the general public, we all hate minivans! There is such a longstanding stigma attached to minivans that there is even a group called People Against Mini-Vans (P.A.M.V.) geared toward all those minivan haters. Seriously, look it up on the net – I do not make this shit up my friends.

Now after a bit of reflection I can’t decide which is worse – the actual vehicle itself or the people who drive them. You know what I’m talking about… that annoying minivan driver in the left hand lane of traffic driving 20 mph below the speed limit -- with the turn signal blinking for the last five miles, talking on the cell phone completely oblivious to the other drivers on the road, stuffing their face with McDonalds all while trying to decide which of their eight stupid cup holders to use…

Instances of frustration and even road rage connected to minivans are so legendary that most of us have probably prayed at some point or another that these clueless drivers and their hideous ‘dork-mobiles’ would just go extinct once and for all! ... But alas, the minivan going the way of the dinosaur isn’t going to happen, NOT IF good old Toyota can help it. Right now Toyota is on a major campaign to convince suburbanites across the globe that the minivan, and in particular, the Sienna is so cool that all the neighbors will be jonesing for this spectacular tricked-out ride:

Now, I don’t know about you but I’m not buying into all the Swagger Wagon hype. The advertising executives over at Toyota can ‘spin’ the cool vehicle concept any way they like but a minivan IS, WAS and WILL ALWAYS be a Dork-mobile!… I’m just saying…

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