Friday, March 11, 2011
Sea World called and Shamu wants his tongue back
Dear Annoying Neighbor,
While I’m guessing that you probably suffer from a deviated septum, a fatty neck, or are afflicted with having a ginormous Shamu the Killer Whale sized tongue that is blocking your breathing passage, this still does not excuse the fact that you regularly disturb the peace and quiet of your neighbors.
Let it be clear that I, along with the other tenants, am beyond fed up with your loud and incessant snoring. We are sick and tired of having you rattle our walls and keep us awake each and every night with that gawd awful sound that comes out of your monstrous, meaty, phlegm-filled head.
Obviously you have a serious problem and need help. Please go get yourself some of those Breathe Right nose strips, a sleep apnea mask, or a tongue amputation. Otherwise pack up your shit and move the heck up out of our building. AND DO IT NOW!
Momma needs her beauty sleep and she isn’t going to tell you again.