Thursday, February 10, 2011
What to do when you are bored
Like most people, you are probably fairly familiar with the concept of Bucket Lists. You know, that list of amazing and interesting stuff we’d like to do before we actually kick the ole bucket… i.e. travel around the world, climb a huge and formidable mountain, yada yada yah…
I personally think bucket lists are great and even have one of my own as there are still some pretty major things I would like to do, see or experience during my lifetime. But what about compiling a go-to list of random crazy shit to do just for kicks – or when you are feeling positively bored? Think of it kind of like an ‘Oh, Why the Friggin’ Hell Not’ list.
To assist in getting your creative mind going and/or to further corrupt you, I’ve compiled a list of wackadoodle suggestions to help make your life a bit more interesting. Some of the ideas may require that you not mind potentially making a ginormous jackass of yourself while others will require you to polish your acting skills. Some suggestions might be considered juvenile. Hopefully none of them will get you into any sort of actual trouble. But regardless, all of the suggestions are meant in good fun:
1. Dress up in a sexy police costume and go to Walmart and pretend to arrest random and unsuspecting people for shoplifting.
2. Walk around Sea World with a fishing pole and watch how people react.
3. Go to an ATM machine and shout ‘OMG! I hit the jackpot, I hit the jackpot’ when money comes out of the machine.
4. Visit a crowded public restroom. Once inside the stall burp loudly and then in an equally loud voice say ‘Mmmm ...tasty!’
5. Go to the produce section of your local grocery store and secretly make naughty displays with the fruits and vegetables.
6. Ride an elevator of a tall building with your back to the door. When someone gets on the elevator, quickly look over your shoulder and ask them to press the button for a floor that doesn’t exist.
7. Go to McDonalds and when placing an order pretend that you don’t speak English.
8. Visit the local fish and game office and try to apply for a ‘Unicorn Hunting License’.
9. Find and stand in a long line in a store or other public place. Select another person to make feel uncomfortable by staring at them and grinning stupidly. Suddenly and excitedly announce to them ‘I’ve got new socks on’.
10. Sit in your parked car wearing sunglasses and pointing a hair dryer at passing cars, while watching closely to see if drivers slow down.
11. Go to a bar and ask annoying patrons what sex they are. When they answer laugh at them hysterically. If necessary, point at their pants for extra emphasis.
12. When on holiday and having a night-out-on-the-town, dress up and pretend to be someone slightly famous. Sign autographs and take photos with clueless tourists.
13. When shopping at a big box store place weird, random and/or pervy items into the shopping carts of unsuspecting people.
14. Go to the service desk of a library and place a take-out order using your ‘outside voice’. When the librarian tells you that ‘this is the library’ repeat your food order in a whisper.
15. Upon exiting a department store changing room, hand back a large stack of pants and disgustedly announce to the attendant ‘none of these are leak proof’.
16. Follow bookstore patrons around while reading aloud from a Scientology handbook.
17. Go to the drive through of a fast food restaurant and repeatedly order things they don’t have on the menu while insisting that you need to have your order ‘to go’.
18. Call up your cable company and demand that they credit your account because you didn’t get the ‘desired results’ from the adult’s only pay-per-view movie you ordered.
19. Put in a pair of jacked up fake teeth and skip around a shopping mall singing ‘I feel pretty, so pretty’.
20. Go on a major campaign and pimp The Ranter’s Box to all of your friends so that The Empress can become a major star in the blogosphere. I shall be forever grateful!
I would love to hear your suggestions for crazy things to do when you are bored, so feel free to leave your recommendations in the comments section below …and the more outlandish, wild or even pervy, the better!
xo The Empress