While researching ridiculous feminine products I discovered a bizarre little contraption geared toward the girl that has puffy naughty bits OR who has had the misfortune of being caught out wearing her britches hitched way up high into the crevices of her hoo-ha.
This is never ever ever a good look and is equivalent to a dude grossly wearing sweatpants in public without any underwear.
However, a company called Cuchini has come to the rescue with a handy dandy modesty device known as the Camel Toe Eraser:
Just shove one of these little bicycle seat shaped liners into your knickers and you too can enjoy a smooth and camel toe free appearance in your nether regions. Or better yet, try looking in the mirror before leaving the house and stop altogether with wearing those tacky, cookie-eating hoochie mama pants …I’m just saying…
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On another note, I want to send a shout-out to the always amusing Thundercat over at Colorful Rants Of A Fed Up Sista who made my day when she bestowed me with the much appreciated Makes Me Smile Blog Award. If you haven’t yet discovered her crazy and highly entertaining blog, head on over and check it out. You won’t be disappointed.
Happy Hump Day my lovelies!
xo The Empress
Wouldn't an athletic cup do the same thing? But, then again, that may present a girl with an entirely different problem.
ReplyDeletePlus, is "hoo ha" a medical term?
Proof positive you can buy anything if you look hard enough.
why not go all the way and just wear one of those box protectors that cricketers wear?
ReplyDeleteCongrats on the award lovely lady. Well deserved
Oh my God. O_O
ReplyDeleteWell, they've solved the camel toe, (aside from, y'know, wearing bottoms the fit), I guess the muffin top is next.
OMG this was a real hoot. Can you imagine? Congrats too!
ReplyDeleteCongrats!
ReplyDeleteCameltoes, mooseknuckles, we don't need to see 'em.
lol where do you find this stuff? Hilarious. Congrats on the award :)
ReplyDeleteCamel toe erasers? WTF? what about chicks like me who have...uh... moose hoof?
ReplyDeleteA well deserved Award - congratulations!
ReplyDeleteHoo-ha! Catchy little creation! I will now refer to any annoy camel-toed damsel as a "hoo-ha" and even work it into my dialogue, should I ever come across one.
It would go something like this...
"Hello hoo-ha, how are you doing on this lovely blustery winter day? Pardon me, hoo-ha, what were you say - I was distracted." (by your stupidity in the clothing department)
Yes, dear Empress - I think I have found a use for your new word! I like it very much!
As always, I am smiling at your great wit!
Lola
oh man i had no idea
ReplyDelete~ <3 Famous Poetry about life <3~
@Al Penwasser: An athletic cup would kind of look funny down there ; ) ...And yes, per Empress Phraseology, hoo-ha is indeed a word!
ReplyDelete@Mynx: Could you imagine? Then eveyone would know a girl had a camel toe issue by the box protector bulge in her britches. ..Thank & Hugs!
@Katsidhe: Tee hee! Spanx work wonders on muffin tops, but I won't tell you how I know ; )
@Bouncin' Barb: Crazy huh? The link to their website even has a video about camel toe police!
@Danger Boy: Thanks! Amen to that brother!
@lyndylou: Call me sick & twisted. I go trolling around the net in search of all sorts of wacky things that will hopefully bring a smile to my lovelies' day. Thanks for the blog support.
@Thundercat: Falen, you are crazy and hilarious! And I now fully expect you to do a blog post on moose hoof ; )
@Storm Wegner Chronicles: Lola, you are funny. To be specific, the hoo-ha is the naughty bit that the camel toe eraser helps to disguise. Either way, I can't wait to hear about the time you called some strumpet a hoo-ha!
ReplyDelete@Poetry of the Day: I do not make this shit up folks! ; )
Oh lordy. First it was the cammi-sole thing to cover up womens cleavage. And now this camel cover up, where will the madness end.
ReplyDeleteI say let a woman show their assets.
Congrats on the award, you deserve it.
@Oilfield Trash: So, you fancy a bit of camel toe, eh? Very randy!! ; ) ...And thanks for the blog love. I am touched.
ReplyDeletethanks you for the entertaining post. I always love the stuff you find out there.
ReplyDeleteand when i need a laugh, you are always there for me...thank you!
People will buy just about anything....
ReplyDeletewow...just wow!
ReplyDeleteCookie-eating hoochie mama pants cause yeast infections! Just say no to camel toe!
ReplyDeleteI think I just invented a campaign slogan. ;)
a bitch called mom
I haven't experienced the dreaded Camel toe THANK GOD!
ReplyDeleteBut I really wish that more women would check themselves. There are times where I have been around it and it's just too awkward to tell them "hey I can see your camel toe!"
The Adorkable Ditz' Missteps
@Bruce: Thanks for the kind words. You always bring a smile to my day as well. Hugs!
ReplyDelete@On My Soapbox: And in this case, some people probably need to do just that! ; )
@Jewels: And no, I don't make this stuff up : )
@Mrs. Hyde: Great campaign slogan. Please campaign away as I think that most of us definitely don't want to have to see that shit!
@The Adorkable Ditz: You'd think they would feel it ...then again maybe they like how it feels and because of that, the rest of us have to suffer looking at that mess.
congrats on the award and this is proof you can find anything on the internet. thanks for the giggles
ReplyDeleteCan we please stop with these ridiculous inventions and move on to flying cars?
ReplyDelete@becca: Yes, the internet is a treasure trove of countless things that while fascinating, most of us probably don't really need. ...And you are most welcome!
ReplyDelete@bangyourhead: Yes, flying cars like in the Jetsons cartoon. That would be awesome.