Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Bristol Palin: Sweet little girl next door extraordinaire



Tonight I almost did not watch the highly touted premier of Dancing With the Stars (DWTS) purely on principle alone. Seriously, the title alone implies that there are indeed actual stars involved in this celebrity dancing competition. Professional athletes, okay. Carol Brady from the cult classic show The Brady Bunch, yeah I’m buying that. But Bristol frickin Palin?

WTF did Bristol ever do that warrants her being invited to star in a celebrity dancing completion? Aside from getting knocked up as a teenager whilst her moronic mother was campaigning as a vice presidential candidate, I can’t say the girl has done anything of significance.

But now she is swanning around like some kind of holier-than-thou virgin who birthed a child via immaculate conception and proudly proclaiming that when it comes to dancing costumes for the show she would “wear the most modest outfits because that it who she is”. Yeah, righty-ho Bristol, whatever you say:




The only thing missing from this rather telling photo is her giant bottle of Captain Morgan’s rum and a shot gun. Oh, and that skanky blonde chick she was caught making out with…

And if that weren’t rich enough, Bristol’s well spun bio lists her as public speaker who earns between US$15,000 and $30,000 per appearance for flapping her gums on women’s, youth and abstinence matters. Yes, you read that correctly. A 19 year old, uneducated teenage mother is allegedly an expert on life matters, so much so that people are willing to shell out big bucks to listen to her yammer.




Perhaps she should stop with all the fame whoring and instead focus on getting her stupid ass a proper education so that she can start setting a decent example for her child. …I’m just saying…

22 comments:

  1. My sentiments exactly! Isn't it great that getting knocked up as a teenager can make people a 'star' these days?! I did watch DWTS tonight and she was awful. I want the fancy lighting to impale her.
    Jess

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  2. Yes, but in regards to the last paragraph we'd have to start with her mother first.

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  3. Oh dear God people are paying her to speak? As part of a scared straight program maybe??

    SD
    http://simpledudecomplexworld.blogspot.com/

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  4. @Me, Myself and I: I'm with you Jess. Being a single mother of course she needs to earn a living but she certainly doesn't deserve to be rewarded as if she has done something great.

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    @Bagel Fairy: For sure! The mother is about as dumb as a box of rocks.

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    @Simple Dude: Apparently so, although I'm not sure how many actual bookings she has had. How the heck she could succeed in scaring kids straight is beyond me. If anything she would probably encourage other teenagers to go out and get knocked up so they could get famous like her.

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    @Fickle Cattle: Indeed. The apple doesn't seem to have fallen very far from the tree.

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  5. I don't like her but at least she didn't dance as clunky as that Brady Bunch lady.

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  6. I don't know which is funnier - your post, or the comments afterwards! Ha! Love it!

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  7. Bristol Palin, douchette extraordinaire. Dancing With the Stars is like a douche magnet. Kate Gosselin, prime example. Bristol Palin... I rest my case.

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  8. I swear .they crazy ass people who listen to her mother are dumb enough to believe that this chick is a good role model for their children... Makes me thankful everyday to be a democrat .

    Is it wrong to hope she experiences a "wardrobe malfunction"?
    That would be the best ... oh wait it should happen when her mother is in the audience... that would be even sweeter.
    Maybe then she would have something to be famous for...lol

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  9. You have an award over at my place www.dailylifewithbipolar.blogspot.com

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  10. OH GOD! NOOOOOO! I will never pay to hear her or her mother speak. The fact that they have her on DWTS is horrible!

    http://theadorkableditzmissteps.blogspot.com/

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  11. @Anonymous: Hmm... I wonder if she will flash the tv audience like Carol Brady did? ; )

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    @A Chicago Blogger: I'm enjoying all these rather amusing comments myself today!

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    @A Marvelous Miss: Too right Charity! Bristol Palin and Kate Gosslin are right up there in the vomit in your mouth category for sure!!

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    @The Chick in the Chair: Wardrobe malfunction? That would certainly generate ratings ...and it is probably all a part of the master plan.

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  12. @Donda: Why merci! I will go and check it out. I've been thinking of bestowing a few awards myself. Thanks for the inspiration. xo

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    @The Adorkable Ditz: It seems like the crowd is giving a rather unaminmous two thumbs down on Bristol. Yay!

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  13. she's basically being rewarded for getting knocked up. I'm sorry but i think that is sending some mixed messages into the world...

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  14. @Miranda: I couldn't agree with you more. Sure everyone makes mistakes but getting a celebrity tv contract when the only thing she has done is get preggers as an unwed teen most definitely sends the wrong messsage.

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  15. First off...that's a doctored photo from the net wiht her head on someone else's bikini body...if that's even her head!
    I think the word
    "Star" today is not like the Golden Age of Hollywood's Stars, but anyone who has celebrity. The Situation is no STAR!

    Maybe she'll find out there's a life beyond AK and meet a decent man, not feel she has no choice but Levi Johnston! Good-luck to all on DWTS!

    By the way...I don't see anything wrong in learning something new and having the celebrity to be asked to be on that show. There are many celebrities who are known for worse! Give the girl a break, you'd want someone to give you one!

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  16. @Anonymous: Ha! Ha! I'm guessing that is you Sarah Palin hiding behind the word "Anonymous". Maybe Bristol and The Situation can run off and produce some 'celebrity' spawn ...and by celebrity I mean people who get famous for banging skanky chicks in hot tubs and unwed teenage mothers who are only famous because they have an ass hat for a mother.

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  17. hum, I thought democrats and liberals (which this little forum seems to be full of) were supposed to be tolerant? I bet if that was Hillery's little darling pregnant at 16 and dancing on Tv you'd be all over her as some hero.

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  18. @Anonymous: What the eff does Hilary have to do with this? If Chelsea Clinton was actually an unwed teenage mother with zero celebrity of her own and somehow she ended up getting a contract for DWTS then I would be knocking her as well. ...so go f*ck yourself. Cheerio!

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  19. Yep she is one of those boring "never done anything" people. A PAris hilton wannbe.

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  20. @Southern Man: Too right matey! Trolling The Ranter's Box archives? I'd totally forgotten about this post : )

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  21. that pic of bristol is a close as we'll ever get to seeing sarah's tits.

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