Tuesday, September 7, 2010

I swear it wasn’t mine

When oh-so-skanky fame whore Paris Hilton was recently arrested in Las Vegas on drug charges it made for the third time in the past several months that she was caught by authorities with an illegal substance in her possession. This time the mind altering party in a bag was nothing other than good old Columbian Tang (a.k.a. cocaine).

While in police custody a bindle of blow (oops!) fell out of the purse Paris was carrying. The desperate-for-attention heiress played poor little victim yet again by exclaiming that she thought the powdery white substance was chewing gum and that the purse wasn’t hers.

Now that the majority of her beyond ridiculous product lines have failed (champagne-in-a-can, cheap hair extensions, P-Hilty blow-up dollies), perhaps Paris was simply out on the town test driving her new celebrity edition ‘Eight Ball’ jewelry line that features its very own special chewing gum compartment.

Yay Paris! Way to make mommy and daddy proud...


  1. Is this for real? There is champagne in a can? I want one.


  2. hah, so glad u posted on this so i didn't have to! i wrote about the one where she smoked weed in front of police officers outside a World Cup game and then blamed it on her friend who subsequently got deported! like, who gets deported from Africa?! seriously!
    "oh, i borrowed a friend's purse". sure u did Paris, sure u did. it must be nice to know no matter what you do, you can't get in trouble. x P

  3. Come on, don't be so hard on her. She is just doing her best to live up to the extremely low expectations we all have of her.

    For that I say: Great Job Paris! Lets shoot for the moon next time and get busted selling bootleg DVDs to tourists!


  4. Poor misunderstood Paris. Think she needs new friends lol. You would think her first trip to jail would have taught her to hide her "chewing gum" better.

  5. People who are famous for just being famous drive me absolutely batshit insane. Now excuse me, I have to chew some gum.

  6. Why are people still taking pictures/printing stories about that skank-wad? Honestly, I have no idea how she got so much limelight in the first place.

    However, it is pretty hilarious how she thinks she can get away with carrying cocaine around in her purse, and then claim that she had no idea how it got there. Yeah right.

    Oh, and by the way Paris, How could you have grabbed someone else's purse unless you were...I don't know...HIGH?!? Just wondering.


  7. @Fickle Cattle: Very true indeed! Although I'm guessing the product is no longer on the market... Maybe they will come out with a special edition line of champagne in a can that comes with a side of coke! xo

    @Precious and Jemily: Interestingly enough, Paris apparently twittered a photo of her new designer purse that she was all excited about. Then after her arrest she back tracked and claimed she borrowed that very same purse from a friend. The girl is one hot mess!

    @Simple Dude: Do you mean bootleg copies of the various versions of her sex tape? ; )

    @Mynx: Too right! Obviously she learned absolutely nothing while in jail!

    @Danger Boy: Those fame whores drive me crazy too! ... Did you opt for the 'tang' flavored gum?

    @Candice: I SO wish everyone would just forget about her. I'm guessing that is what the public was starting to do until the mug shot of her showed up all over the press. Talk about desperate! xo

  8. Insane. As if she can get away with that behavior because she is famous for being mentally-challenged...

  9. I wish Paris would be my BFF...*sigh*...she would make me so proud.

  10. Champagne in a can? Sounds like a DREAM.

    Paris is an idiot. They pay her to go to clubs. Can you believe that shit? I was in Chicago once and my friends and I were in VIP and guess what? One of the guys that ran the club told me they paid her $15,000 just to hang out and party there that night.

    This is when sex tape making doesn't sound so bad at all. I tell ya'.

  11. @Ranter, I used to wonder who was more full of it, Paris or Britney. Now I am sure "madamemoiselle" takes the prize.
    @Precious and Jemily, we will deport you from our continent if you come with the warped mindset that Africa is some lawless tarzan type of jungle where you can break our laws.

  12. The most unbelievable part of Hilton's story is that she doesn't know what cocaine looks like. Like, seriously? You're Paris effing Hilton. No one is going to believe that.

  13. UPDATE: Paris is now out of 'hiding' after her arrest ordeal. She is currently swanning around somewhere in Hawaii in very low cut dresses shopping and posing for pictures with 'fans' and anyone she can pay to photographer her! Good grief!


    @Molly Malone: I'm glad to know there is an actual label to explain why she is famous. Because until now I was under the impression that Paris and fame were one of those unexplained mysteries of life!

    @Cinderita: You are far too classy and intelligent for that dumb bimbo!

  14. @Annah: I love it when you stop by!

    The champers in a can was for real - and when you think about it, actually quite a good match as far as product endorsements go!

    Paris was partying at Sundance a few years back at my friend's club. He let her and her entourage in ...as you do.. and apparently Paris drank the bar dry (free) and then didn't have the decency to tip the bartender. That DID NOT go over well with my friend who demanded that his staff be acknowledged for the service they provided her. I'm pretty sure that was her last visit to his club!

    And trust me my dear, your famosity will never involve having to resort to sex tapes! You are far too talented!! xo

  15. @Mthoko: Paris takes the prize hands down! Now if you could recommend some way for Paris to be deported from her home country that would make many, many people happy!

    On another note, I have tried to leave comments on your blog post recently and wasn't able to do so. When you click on "Comment" the comment box doesn't appear. Hugs!

    @Steve G: See Steve she really is dumb! Or a desperate famewhore that would resort to using any trick including a drug bust just to get her dingy mug back in the press. xo

  16. Skank!...
    Not you- Paris.

  17. I'm glad that I am not the only one who thinks that Paris sucks ass.

  18. This is crazy shit. How do these celebrity bitches get caught with this shit? It's crazy to me. I am against drug laws and believe possession and consumption ought to be fully legalized, but since it is illegal, you would think they would get better at hiding it. I mean you would think they would have enough money to keep from getting arrested in the first place... right?



  19. @Corinanda: Trash bag is the perfect description of that ridiculous tart! xo

    @Tatathomas: Thanks for stopping by. And YES, Paris totally and unequivocally sucks ass!!

    @Charles: Crazy shit indeed! I'm guessing the arrest was a rather desperate ploy to try and get her fugly mug back in the press.

  20. I love how she's always 'just holding it for someone'. Besides, her brain should be an illegal substance except you never think of the words 'substance' and 'Paris Hilton's brain' in the same context really, do you?

  21. @The Vegetable Assassin: Thanks for stopping by! So true. Paris Hilton and brain of substance, not a likely combination!


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