Thursday, September 30, 2010
Dick Heads … and not the kind that are fun to play with!
Dick head: (noun) a descriptive word used for someone who is considered to be dishonest, selfish and/or mean.
Whether you call them pricks, wankers, nob heads, a-holes, tossers or d-bags, they are all basically the same, meaning they are someone who has a ginormous penis sprouting from his or possibly her face.
And yes, I am talking about that rude mofo customer service agent. Or the punk ass kid who pulls his bicycle in front of your car at a major intersection only to carelessly and cavalierly roll said bicycle back into the front end of your car. Or the insecure jackass of a supervisor at your work who because of their incompetence makes your life a living hell.
But the individual who takes the prize for total dickwaddery or gluteolacunosity (assholeness) is the player dude who parades around disguised in nice guys’ clothing:
He comes across as kind, considerate, respectful, fun, affectionate and totally into the woman he is with at the time. However lurking just beneath the surface is a major player who can only be described as the one and only absolute King of the Dick Heads.
Ladies and/or gents you will know with certainty that you have engaged with one of these dick heads because he will be the guy that:
1. Is in full-on copulation mode 24/7 or whenever he can find a donut to stick his thingy in.
2. Constantly emphasizes just how busy he is with business and family but in reality you discover he is spending all his time trolling every dating site known to mankind.
3. Is highly adept at emotional manipulation and making his conquests think he is completely and utterly into them.
4. Simultaneously ‘dates’ several of his conquests, most of whom are unaware that they are but one of many.
5. Doesn’t understand the meaning of a relationship and is therefore incapable of actually having one.
6. Is a supreme arsehole so spare yourself and steer the heck clear!
And to the King of Dick Heads that this special post has been dedicated, all I can say is that the day will come when you realize that you totally effed things up with one awesome, amazing and sexy woman who would have rocked your world. So put that in your pipe and suck it dude!