Friday, October 29, 2010
There is no way I’m effing wear that!
Recently I was in line at one of the big box stores and noticed that the crazy lady in front of me was giddy as a school girl over the fact that she was about to purchase her poor canine a ridiculously stupid Halloween costume.
Now I love animals and totally get the fact that our furry little friends often become like members of the family. As such I think it is totally normal to give Fido a cuddle or a special treat. But when it comes to dog strollers, pet bakeries, animal chefs and holiday costumes, well that is an altogether entirely different over-the-freaking-top story.
Animals do not get off being dressed in people costumes and paraded around like little circus freaks for the sole amusement of their insensitive owners. To prove this point here is some highly scientific photographic evidence combined with the amusing intimate thoughts of a few unwilling pets forced to participate in the Halloween antics of their parents:
“I’ve got your ‘Hello Kitty’ bitch!”
“I know Batman is really cool and all …but seriously, WTF?!”
"Oh how you are going to wish you had nine lives after I commence with ripping you a new one!"
"Yeah, I'll show you satan's lap dog you big butt face!"
"Just because you and your fat, lazy ass like to lounge around on the couch wearing a god-awful Snuggie and stuffing your face with Twinkies does not mean that I aspire to the same misfortune!”
“Ha Ha! Very funny. Don’t wonder why I shit all over your bed the next time you leave me home alone.”
So attention all you jackass pet owners out there: Please refrain from thinking that your animal is actually a human being that enjoys being dressed in asinine costumes. They clearly don’t you big stupid morons! ...I'm just saying...
Happy Halloween my lovelies!
xo The Empress