Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Naked, Drunk and Swinging from the Chandelier
Our favorite prostitute loving, sex addicted and substance abusing Hollywood hedonist Charlie Sheen is back in the news once again. And being the Duke of Debauchery that he is, good old Carlos certainly does not disappoint with his latest headline making antics.
Sources report that the NYC police were called to Charlie’s fancy hotel suite in the Plaza Hotel around 2:00am after a loud raucous ensued. The cops allegedly found the suite in shambles with expensive chairs and tables overturned and a posh chandelier damaged. Oh, and there was also a high-priced hooker lady found hollering from inside a closet and fearful for her life.
Police officers report that Charlie was naked, irrational, intoxicated, emotionally disturbed and screaming racial slurs like a Mel Gibson wanna-be. Apparently the untouchable Two and a Half Men star was out partying when he decided to bring a whore back to his room for a round of knob slobbing and hide the salami.
The situation went downhill faster than a runaway train when coked-up Charlie supposedly discovered that his all-important phone and wallet had gone missing. Hooker lady alleged that our man went into a full-on major rage and started screaming and throwing furniture around like a wild Tasmanian devil.
Responding officers kindly gave the inebriated star the choice of going to jail or being hospitalized. Charlie, who is all too familiar with the big house, opted for a far more comfortable stay at the hospital and was swiftly admitted for psychiatric evaluation.
Mr. Sheen’s clever little spinmeisters are now stating that “Charlie had an adverse allergic reaction to some medication and was taken to the hospital, where he is expected to be released tomorrow.” Righty-ho, whatever you say ...I didn’t realize that Columbian tang was classified as a medication. But anyhoo...
What a lovely and wonderful way to top off a wholesome day spent with one’s young daughters watching Mary Poppins on Broadway and shopping at the American Girl doll outpost. Classy Charlie, very classy…