Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Naked, Drunk and Swinging from the Chandelier



Our favorite prostitute loving, sex addicted and substance abusing Hollywood hedonist Charlie Sheen is back in the news once again. And being the Duke of Debauchery that he is, good old Carlos certainly does not disappoint with his latest headline making antics.

Sources report that the NYC police were called to Charlie’s fancy hotel suite in the Plaza Hotel around 2:00am after a loud raucous ensued. The cops allegedly found the suite in shambles with expensive chairs and tables overturned and a posh chandelier damaged. Oh, and there was also a high-priced hooker lady found hollering from inside a closet and fearful for her life.

Police officers report that Charlie was naked, irrational, intoxicated, emotionally disturbed and screaming racial slurs like a Mel Gibson wanna-be. Apparently the untouchable Two and a Half Men star was out partying when he decided to bring a whore back to his room for a round of knob slobbing and hide the salami.

The situation went downhill faster than a runaway train when coked-up Charlie supposedly discovered that his all-important phone and wallet had gone missing. Hooker lady alleged that our man went into a full-on major rage and started screaming and throwing furniture around like a wild Tasmanian devil.

Responding officers kindly gave the inebriated star the choice of going to jail or being hospitalized. Charlie, who is all too familiar with the big house, opted for a far more comfortable stay at the hospital and was swiftly admitted for psychiatric evaluation.

Mr. Sheen’s clever little spinmeisters are now stating that “Charlie had an adverse allergic reaction to some medication and was taken to the hospital, where he is expected to be released tomorrow.” Righty-ho, whatever you say ...I didn’t realize that Columbian tang was classified as a medication. But anyhoo...

What a lovely and wonderful way to top off a wholesome day spent with one’s young daughters watching Mary Poppins on Broadway and shopping at the American Girl doll outpost. Classy Charlie, very classy…

31 comments:

  1. I was waiting for the punch line that his ho had more than he bargained for... Hide the salami indeed!!!

    Stolen wallet.

    How boring... Where's all the good HOllywood trash these days, damn it?

    ReplyDelete
  2. I just love charlie, he never let's me get bored with hollywood... great post!

    amberlashell.com

    ReplyDelete
  3. how was Denise Richards ever married to THAT? and to let him father her children. once may have been an accident, but TWICE! seriously lady, whyyyy? she seems nice. and normal.
    And i guess the ol' "hospitalised for exhaustion" excuse is so 2009 in Hollywood... but "allergic reaction to meds" - really?
    sorry officer, i was so high on flu medication that my face just fell in to this pile of blow that this random hooker who broke in to my hotel room must've left on the coffee table.
    thanks for this. entertaining as always! x P

    ReplyDelete
  4. and are we surprised by any of this I think not.

    ReplyDelete
  5. @Rabbit: You crack me up! But I think being found naked in your trashed hotel room, cracked out of your mind with a hooker locked in the closet is rates fairly well for Tuesday morning shennanigans. xo

    -----------------
    @AmberLaShell: Glad that Charlies keeps you entertained. I can personally attest to the fact that he is man whore off his rocker!

    -----------------
    @Precious and Jemily: Love your version of the medication excuse. No doubt in between the inappropriate slurs Charlie rambled some sort of excuse similar to what you wrote!

    -----------------
    @becca: Definitely not. One can only imagine what the follow up escapdes to this will entail.

    ReplyDelete
  6. "Adverse allergic reaction" hahahahaha WTF, seriously? Surely you jest?

    ReplyDelete
  7. @Nubian: Yes, seriously. His PR people must have there work cut out for them trying to cover the tracks of that mad man!

    ReplyDelete
  8. The Empress - you can PERSONALLY attest? DO tell, DO TELL!!?!?

    I want my own PR person. And maybe this new medication you are talking of. Maybe it'll fix me up? I'll just stay away from high-class escorts so no one gets hurt (BF should be okay). lol

    ReplyDelete
  9. Do his "people" take creative writing classes just keep up with him??? Good grief! lol

    ReplyDelete
  10. The fucked up thing is...CHARLIE WILL ALWAYS HAVE HIS JOB! For some reason, as long as he sticks to his bad boy ways he will always have work. Its like nothing he does shocks people anymore.

    This is so different from the whole Robert Downey Jr thing. He started off the good guy, went drug crazy, repented and now is a huge star. Charlie started off the asshole, is turning into a bigger asshole, and will remain the asshole as expected lol

    ReplyDelete
  11. @Bagel Fairy: Nice. Seems rather befitting!

    ----------------
    @StephanieC: He is definitely a man whore. Back in the day I 'Sorry Charlied' him on a few occasions. Very glad I did as I later got the play by play from the girls who did sleep with him. Then there is the whole hooker factor...

    ----------------
    @J.Day: They certainly must. Talk about continuous mayhem and mischief!

    ---------------
    @Falen: I'm with you. It totally sucks that he seems to be virtually untouchable. His behavior is out of control and yet he is gainfully employed and raking in the major bucks. That is completely effed up.

    Maybe we should change the definition of gluteolacunosity to mean Charlie Sheen?! ; 0

    ReplyDelete
  12. Next thing his PR lot will state he's just getting into character for his 2.5 Men role....
    Same old antics!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Highest paid person on television! At least he's investing wisely ... Almost fell over when I read "allergic reaction" ... is that an allergic reaction to being anything other than a drunk, drug addicted asswipe?

    ReplyDelete
  14. lol, I was just about to say something about him doing research for his two and a half men role, but then Nat got in there first!!!

    Good post :0)

    ReplyDelete
  15. Ugh, how horrible, especially with his little girls in the next room! Isn't anyone going to ask about his ability to parent when he's blitzed out of his mind and acting like a chimpanzee??!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Dude knows how to have a memorable day, I'll say that for him. However, I suspect I know what pushed him over the edge again. He finally watched an episode of "Two and a Half Men".

    It's the only explanation. That'd drive anyone to coke and whores.

    ReplyDelete
  17. @Nat: Highly likely for sure!

    -------------
    @PM Taylor: Ha! Let's not forget the part about hooker lovin' asswipe.

    ----------------
    @DarrenK: Glad you enjoyed the play by play of Mr. Sheen's lastest escapades : )

    ----------------
    @Bi: Thank goodness his ex-wife has sole custody of the kids.

    ----------------
    @The Vegetable Assassin: Very funny! He did technically have a penchant for coke and whores MANY years prior to the show. Now he just gets to play himself on tv and be extremely well compensated for well, nothing...

    ReplyDelete
  18. I never liked that Charlie Sheen guy, he never settled well with me even when he played the character in that one show. Hate his guts.

    http://theadorkableditzmissteps.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  19. @TheAdorkableDitz: So, two thumbs down on Charlie stories in the future? ; )

    ReplyDelete
  20. ... The Latest ... New category: "Ironic Choice of Words" for $1,000, Alex ... Chuckles characterizes the incident as "grossly overblown" ... ooohhhh where to begin????

    ReplyDelete
  21. I just found your blog and OMG I almost fell off my chair reading it. I called my co-worker over to read it too, she was laughing her ass off. Great take on the Charlie Sheen "Incident"

    ReplyDelete
  22. @PM Taylor: Is that insane or what? Like we would really believe that BS!!

    -----------------
    @crazy ramblings of a tired mom: Thank you so much for stopping by and for the blog love. It makes my day to discover to readers. So glad I was able to entertain you and your co-worker. There is plenty more where that came from in the archives. Enjoy!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Hey, do you think if I become an asshole, I, too, can rake in the big bucks? It's not that huge a leap from bitch to asshole...

    ReplyDelete
  24. Charlie Sheen is a nutjob! I think he and Lindsay should hook up and call it a day!

    ReplyDelete
  25. @Mrs. Hyde: Brilliant idea! Let's start a bitch brigade, take over a tv network and then unleash our lady mayhem on the world. You in?! ; )

    ---------------
    @Donda: Interesting suggestion for a celebrity match-up. I've actually considered that one myself. Perhaps that jackass Dr. Phil could stick his big honking nose into the picture and orchastrate a love connection there. No? ; )

    ReplyDelete
  26. Craaaazy. Hum. Nice references though, "hide the salami" indeed. haha.

    Yes, campfires are awesome! Especially when you have marshmallows.

    ReplyDelete
  27. I'm reminded of a Rick James quote. "Cocaine a helluva drug!"

    ReplyDelete
  28. @linnykins: Yes, that is Charlie's favorite party game! ; )

    --------------
    @Danger Boy: With all the broken furniture and nakedness one would be inclined to agree!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Someone hook him up with Paris!

    ReplyDelete
  30. @Mthoko: Great to have you back! He and Paris are probably secretly planning a sex video together ; )

    ReplyDelete

Comments are welcome and appreciated. You do not have to sign up or give your contact information to be able to comment. Feel free to comment anonymously if you like. Just fill my box up. It makes me so very happy!