Fame Whoring – Paris Hilton edition

Just when you think that ditzy, oh-so-innocent celebutard otherwise known as Paris Hilton has FINALLY gone away and crawled back under the rock from which she came, she remerges to plaster her fame-whoring ass all over yet another asinine business venture. And no boys and girls, it’s not an all natural, non-pharmaceutical version of columbian tang that she is hawking.

This time P. Hilty has decided (being the incredibly knowledgeable motorcycle expert that she is) that she would go out and get her very own little team on the world motorcycle championship circuit. …Because she needed a seemingly legitimate excuse to parade around in skin tight motorcycle costumes without obviously appearing like the super skanky Barbie wanna-be that she is.

From 2011-2013 the SuperMartXe VIP by Paris Hilton team will embarrassingly compete in the 125cc racing category all kitted out in hot pink and blue motorcycles emblazoned with her name. …No word yet whether or not the team’s racing uniforms will be rhinestone bedazzled with fluffy hot pink feathered trim.

Paris was so freaking excited about the whole ridonkulous deal that she tweeted “I can’t believe I have my own racing team! So cool! :)” And she even committed to attending at least five actual races during the next season.

Wow! Five whole races. How in the world will she ever manage to fit them in between all the crazy partying, paparazzi bribing, shopping, champagne swilling and raunchy table dancing?

Someone please make her go the effing hell away …once and for all …I’m just saying…

Oopsy, I think I lost my top!

From churchy little girl next door to fame whore extraordinaire, Heidi Montag (or whatever the hell she is calling herself these days) is certainly giving P. Hilty a run for the money when it comes to trying to stay in the highly sought after public spotlight.

With all the fake marriages and divorces, horrific attempts at singing and acting, wardrobe malfunctions, outrageous amounts of plastic surgery and alleged girl-on-girl sex tapes, it appears there is absolutely no line that Heidi wouldn’t cross just to stay front and center on the covers of all those trashy tabloid magazines.


Here is Heidi plotting her attempt to become the next human Barbie:




When “Operation Barbie” didn’t go over so well, Heidi then concocted a highly publicized divorce from her wackadoodle husband Spencer. Nobody cared. She then had to think a bit more creatively:




Most recently Heidi has been making uninvited (photo) appearances at breast cancer walks and tweeting that she is giving herself a soft tissue massage while reminding all the other fake-boobied ladies out there that they have to keep those implants soft.

When oh when will the madness stop?...

I swear it wasn’t mine

When oh-so-skanky fame whore Paris Hilton was recently arrested in Las Vegas on drug charges it made for the third time in the past several months that she was caught by authorities with an illegal substance in her possession. This time the mind altering party in a bag was nothing other than good old Columbian Tang (a.k.a. cocaine).

While in police custody a bindle of blow (oops!) fell out of the purse Paris was carrying. The desperate-for-attention heiress played poor little victim yet again by exclaiming that she thought the powdery white substance was chewing gum and that the purse wasn’t hers.

Now that the majority of her beyond ridiculous product lines have failed (champagne-in-a-can, cheap hair extensions, P-Hilty blow-up dollies), perhaps Paris was simply out on the town test driving her new celebrity edition ‘Eight Ball’ jewelry line that features its very own special chewing gum compartment.

Yay Paris! Way to make mommy and daddy proud...