Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Silly things you thought you couldn’t live without



Bad news boys and girls, the majorly ridiculous and ill-conceived Kardashian Kard is to be no more. With many thanks to the consumer product gods as well as Connecticut’s Attorney General, the launch of this fame whoring, money grubbing celebrity pre-paid debit card came to a magnificent screeching halt.

Recently an investigation was opened to determine if the potentially dubious Kardashian Kard violated any consumer protection laws. In question were all of the excessive and incredibly sneaky hidden fees associated with the pre-paid debit card including:

• US$99.95 to use the card for 12 months;
• US$9.95 to activate the card;
• US$7.95 in monthly service fees;
• US$1.00 to add money to the card; and
• US$1.50 to speak with a live operator.

Once word hit the streets that the card could ultimately gouge the pocketbooks of naive and unsuspecting users, the Kardashian’s lawyers and crafty little spinmeisters went into full-on damage control in an attempt to salvage any damage to the sister’s reputation.

On Monday the Kardashian family attorney sent a notice of termination to the banks and licensing companies responsible for the card.

He also wrote in a letter that “the Kardashians have worked extremely long and hard to create a positive public persona that appeals to everyone, particularly young adults. They have been successful in doing so because they are recognized as honest, ethical, and fun-loving individuals who are kind and caring to others."

What the lawyer failed to mention was that as “fun-loving” as the Kardashian sisters may be, the whole pre-paid debit card debacle was most likely intended to be a money making venture -- or why in the heck else would they bother?

Then add to the whole sordid picture the fact that the University National Bank said in a statement (on Monday) that only 250 consumers had purchased the card. Yes, that is correct. Only 250 starry-eyed adoring fans wanted to unknowingly take it up the arse in fees, all for the privilege of carrying around a pre-paid debit card emblazoned with the faces of the Kardashian sisters.

Now maybe it’s just me, but I’m guessing that sex tapes are a far, far more lucrative venture…

33 comments:

  1. If 250 jackasses were hard-pressed to look at the Kardashians' every time they spent money they didn't really have, they could have just pasted Kim's face (cuz let's face it, nobody gives a shit about the other two) over those of the dead presidents and gazed at her lovingly as they blew through their mortgage money at Walmart. Helluva lot cheaper.

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  2. @Mrs. Hyde: Ha! Too right my friend!! ...Please don't give your brilliant idea to Momma Kardashian cause you know that woman will be all over it trying to get Kim's ass/face on some money. xo

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  3. how silly can people be? really. tsk

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  4. why would a bank allow them to do this (or have they established their own financial institution as well)? worst branded card marketing idea EVER.
    Kim must've been devastated to learn she only has 250 loyal fans! hah. x P

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  5. @Mynx: Apparently, VERY! ; )

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    @Precious: And the concept behind the card was so (stupid) people could "go shopping with the Kardashians". Worst idea for sure!

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  6. lol..sex tapes are always the better way to go

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  7. well, i don't know about everyone else, but i made WAY more money from my sex tape than my prepaid debit card.
    oh, um, did i say sex tape? what i meant to say was ISN'T THEIR 15 MINUTES UP YET?

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  8. These people (Kardashians) are an embarassment to the American people. Their lack of compassion and selfishness is exhibited all over TV especially at a time when our country is in a disastrous and scary economy. People are wondering where their next meal may be coming from and the Kardashians are wondering where to take a vacation or what fashion should be worn. Sickening. Sorry if this upsets anyone. It's strictly my opinion. Since I'm from CT and now in the south I say kudos to Dick Blumenthal for shutting down this money hungry operation.

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  9. I was one of the 250.


    JUST KIDDING. ; )

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  10. I do seriously worry about the future of mankind...how will we survive with so much stupidity in our midst?

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  11. I want to know who REALLY thought this was a good idea. Selling paper machet models of Kim's ass would be more lucrative.

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  12. Thing is, I really don't get the point. Open a current account and they give you a debit card anyway? Add a picture of your fave celebrity to your wallet, and you have basically the same thing, but with no fees?!?!

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  13. They'll hold off on making sex tapes until they need a media boost.

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  14. "recognized as honest, ethical"

    I think Hell just froze over. If anyone in that family is ethical or honest then I'm Superman. I mean, who listened to this pitch and actually thought it was a good idea?

    Where's the Donald to fire their stupid asses?!

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  15. Whoever those 250 people were, their driver's licenses and voter registrations (if they even have them)should be revoked and they should NOT be allowed to reproduce! They are just TOO STUPID to participate fully in society without proper supervision.

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  16. NEVER TRUST A BIG BUTT AND A SMILE! lmfao!

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  17. LOL! Not to mention the sister's are barely speaking to eachother...apparently Kim isn't as cool as the 2 married gals...whatever. I vote sex tapes.

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  18. Well, i saw the sex tape and Kim wasn't very good in bed from what i could tell, so why would i want her to look at me every time i wanted to spend money?! That's the problem with a lot of these prepaid cards... They want you to take it up the ass like she did.

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  19. Who in their right mind would even WANT a Kardashian card?! I sure wouldn't they scare me, they look like brunette forms of the Fem Bots from Austin Powers...

    http://theadorkableditzmissteps.blogspot.com/

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  20. 250? In the whole nation? That's not a bad number, considering what I was expecting.

    Still, that's 250 more people to load on the rocket to Mars. Get them off of our planet!

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  21. If you were shopping with the Kardashians, wouldn't the card limit be sky-high? The whole idea is ridiculous!

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  22. I read about the fees a couple of weeks ago...I mean...way to show kids (who would probably be the ones using the card-or some horny man or hardcore fan) the wonders of using plastic, right? So stupid!

    hed www.hedabovewater.com

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  23. jackwads are ev.ry.whe.er. but in this case only 250 of em showed up...

    so i got an award for ya!

    bruce and BET
    blog love at bruce johnson jadip

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  24. Hello my lovelies! Your comments are awesome. Thanks for the great response. I will respond to all the amazing things you have written here soon. In the meantime, big hugs!

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  25. Fyi, you are my blog of the week.

    http://ficklecattle.blogspot.com/

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  26. Who the hell would use this? Seriously?

    And @jess has a sex tape? WHAAAAAAAAAHHH?

    Empress, I hope I also get a hug?

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  27. this is honestly such a silly product but i suppose having a card with these three on it would cripple your desire to spend money haha:)

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  28. @AmberLaShell: Agreed - that sex tape was boring as hell. According to KK's universe, lookin' hot, bending over, and halfheartedly moaning, "ooh, baby" a few times constitutes good (and watchable) sex. I don't care how big your ass is, girl - YAWN.

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  29. @Jess: Yes, if someone could please end their so-called 15 minutes of fame that would be just lovely ; )

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    @Bouncin' Barb: Your perspective is appreciated. No doubt many others share your same sentiment re: rubbing excessiveness in the face of others.

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    @A Chicago Blogger: You had me worried there for a minute girlfriend!

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    @Nat: A worry indeed. If all those reality show celebutards are indicative of where our future is heading, lordy help us all!

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    @Nicki: A Kim K. butt model, hilarious!!

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    @Darren K: Thank goodness there are smart people out there like you to explain this to any of the dingbats that purchased the card.

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    @Danger Boy: I'm surprised they didn't come out with a holiday edition sex tape.

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    @J. Day: Can you please ring Mr. Trump to intervene?

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    @Oilfield Trash: Always straight to the point my friend. Ha!

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    @Lolamouse: I'm with you on that thought. I almost considered writing just that same sentiment in the post.

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    @Falen: Cause they are always up to no good!

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    @Cinderita: I didn't realize there was a family feud going on. ...And yes, I'm sure you are down with the sex tape idea ; )

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    @Amber LaShell: I never saw the sex tape. So she really let the guy shit weasel her?

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    @The Adorkable Ditz: Fem Bots! Hilarious!

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    @Deidra: If you round them up, I'll light the fuse to the rocket!

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    @Hed: Thank goodness the Attorney General intervened and got the card off the market.

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    @Bruce: A million thanks for the awesome award!

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    @Fickle Cattle: I am honored! Thank you so much for your kind recognition. And sorry to hear that I give one of your readers a headache.

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    @Stephanie: Only the brain-washed or a complete moron!

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    @Felix Curds: So the Kardashian's don't do it for you, huh? ; )

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    @Bagel Fairy: So that makes two thumbs down re: Kim's sex tape. Interesting.

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  30. I confess to being ignorant of who this person is, but anyone with a cleavage like that cannot be a good role model for my spending habits.

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  31. Does anyone else wonder what went wrong with that third sister? Was all the hot DNA used up?

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