Sunday, November 21, 2010
Abducted by aliens
Have you ever had one of those totally bizarre experiences that completely denied any and all sort of logic or reason? Well, I certainly have. One week ago something happened that made me wonder if perhaps I was being punk’d by Ashton Kutcher or if maybe I had indeed truly lost my marbles once and for all.
Last Sunday evening after leaving my underground parking garage I switched on the stereo in my car to discover nothing but the garbled sounds of static on every single radio station that I tuned into. How odd I thought. Once I arrived at my destination I exited my vehicle and shockingly discovered that the radio antenna was missing. Gone. Vanished. No longer in existence.
All I could frustratingly think was “WTF?” and “who in the hell effing steals a radio antenna?” not to mention “oh, great now I have to deal with finding time to replace the damn thing”. Blah, blah, blah…
Then I commenced with a bit of reasoning and considered that perhaps the antenna had simply fallen off. Not likely though because I knew for a fact that the antenna was there the previous day when I was out tooling around town with the top down and the stereo reasonably cranked up until such point that I parked my car back safe and snuggly into its parking space.
Next I quickly ruled out the possibility of some disgruntled neighbor pulling a prank, mainly because I don’t know anyone and rarely if ever come into any sort of contact with other tenants.
I also ruled out some pissed-off fame whoring celebutard getting even with me for some snarky but true blog post I had written about them, mainly because The Ranter’s Box is anonymous and also because that whole theory is just plain ludicrous.
Anyhoo, things took a further turn for the really freaking weird when exactly three days later I discovered much to my surprise an antenna on the back of my car. Only this time, it was a completely different antenna but an antenna all the same. Talk about feeling like you are in the midst of some wacky episode of The Twilight Zone!
I quickly rang one of my friends who had witnessed and confirmed that my car antenna was actually missing off the back of my vehicle and not a figment of my crazy-ass imagination. When I informed her there was now an antenna on my car and that I had not put there, she was about as equally gob smacked as I was. Both of us are still shaking our heads in disbelief.
About the only plausible explanation I can now come up with is that some little green men flew their alien spacecraft into my parking garage this past Sunday night, saw my cute little car and figured that its antenna would make a great make-shift probe to stick up the arse of some poor alien abductee. And while those aliens were kind enough to return an antenna to my car three days later, now all I can think about is the nasty butt juice that must be all over it!
Have a great week my lovelies!
xo The Empress