Dear Technorati Technotards,
Thank you ever so kindly for wasting the past week of my life by forcing me to repeatedly jump through all of your ridiculous and cockamamie hoops in a futile attempt to get my blog The Ranter’s Box listed in your stupid blog directory.
While I admit that I am somewhat daft when it comes to highly technical matters such as writing computer code for complex satellite networks or engineering space shuttles, I am quite capable of correctly identifying and providing both the URL and feed for my blog.
Please note that the screen captures you provided in response to my numerous claim requests are in fact from my actual blog. Therefore anyone with half a brain could easily conclude that the URL feed is both valid and working:
Further, if you once again refer to the screen captures you provided for my blog you will see that The Ranter’s Box is in fact an actual blog and NOT a product catalog, forum or the like as you so moronically indicated below:
Now far be it for me to tell you how to run your effed up company, but wouldn’t such glaringly obvious evidence like my blog posts, blog archive, blog followers and plenty of really awesome blog awards clue your jackass reviewers in to the fact that my blog The Ranter’s Box is in fact an actual blog?
One would think so especially after Technorati sent me an email stating:
Thank you for submitting your blog claim on Technorati. We have successfully crawled your blog and found the claim token, and your claim is now awaiting review.
Seriously, WTF is going on with your jacked up claims process? It has been seven days, six claims, three blog claim tokens, and endless Technorati excuses later and I’m still waiting for approval. Please get your shit together ASAP lest I get completely and utterly fed up with all of your nonsense and go find myself a far better blog directory to list my snarky little blog!
Regards,
The Empress
Yet another Technorati claim token: HKVRV8VTDXH3
I don't even know what Technorati is, but it sounds like one huge pain in the ass.
ReplyDelete@Jeff: Yes, my arse can concur. The things one is willing to go through in an effort to pimp one's blog...
ReplyDeleteI agree with Jeff. LOL. But a Technorati sounds kinda cool. Sort of like a really cool futuristic car. LOL.
ReplyDelete@Cinderita: Ha! With hampsters powering the engine!
ReplyDeletePfft, you are too good for them Empress. P.S. remind me to call you next time I need help with the phone company. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm sensing some angst...sounds like Technorati excel at making their clients ratty!
ReplyDeleteI can certainly sympathize with your plight. I work from home and last week encountered some technical 'issues' which forced me to to go to our technotards. (I don't think that it is limited to Technorati, unfortunately. It must be a technotard thing) 7 hours of 'live chat' later...4 of which were just waiting for them to pick up...they told me my software wasn't in compliance and to reload the software and come back once I did. *sigh*
ReplyDeleteHere is hoping that the Techorati Technotards (I love that phrase but I won't steal it) get some resolution for you sooner rather than later.
lol, I would say I wholeheartedly agree about the technotards, but being a computer programmer.....
ReplyDeleteAwesome rant, though :0)
Drunk hamsters from the sound of it...
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHA! "Jackwagons" - I love that. Sorry that they are, in fact, jackwagons, but don't you feel better now that you got that out of your system? Now, I'm off to google Technorati since I have no idea what it is. ;)
ReplyDeleteGood luck with Technorati and it's jackwagon-ness! Oh and have a great day today.
I know what Technorati is.. it was that secret society Tom Hanks went up against in The Da Vinci Code. Scary folks... they'll carve shit into your body, so be careful.
ReplyDeleteSD
Simple Dude
@Mynx: Apparently so far "they" think they are too good. And yes, definitely let me know next time you need the phone company sorted!
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@Nat: Either that or their so called technology is really just rubbish.
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@Semi True Torystellar: Thanks for the blog love! It makes my day to discover new followers. Yay! ...You must have the patience of a saint. I would have been inclined to go off on their asses after 30 minutes. ...Feel free to use technotards anytime you like. It's all about sharing here at The Ranter's Box!
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@Darren K: No offense against computer programmers. They can do things I could never begin to comprehend. Technotards are in an entirely different category : )
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@A Redhead Named Sam: Seriously! Is this like a Kia commercial or something? "You can deal with this or you can deal with that"...
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@HulaBuns: Thanks for your support. And feel free to borrow jackwagon any time you like. I got the phrase from a commercial recently but it so fits Empress phraseology that I couldn't help but use the word to describe those asshats.
@Simple Dude: That is hilarious although I'm starting to think that you might be on to something there!
ReplyDeletewhat and/or who is Technorati because i so want to avoid them sounds like a total waste of time
ReplyDelete@becca: They are a blog directory and a fairly big one from what I understand. They also appear to be either major idiots or have crappy technology or just enjoy effing with the little folks who are out trying to pimp their blogs. Either way, they are a major joy to deal with. Not! : )
ReplyDeleteTechnorati sounds like a really cheap Chinese buffet from hell!
ReplyDeleteP.S. tell them I SAID to get their shit together or I'll send them a f-ing virus and mess it all up! If you can't get what you want, no one will ;)
Kind of what I call the "McDonald's Factor" (no offense, love the fries) - "We're big, we don't care, we don't have to ... if you don't want our product, somebody in line behind you will super size theirs ..."
ReplyDeleteSilver lining = provided an outstanding rant for your followers reading pleasure ...
PMT
http://thisthattheotherone.blogspot.com
Ahhhh the things we go through to be recognized, loved, and worshiped ( as you should be ).... good luck!
ReplyDeleteI so enjoy the rants!
I think you are too good for them, I mean this is obviously a blog, duh.. good luck.
ReplyDelete@Falen: I just may ask you to send them a virus. There latest round of crap today was them telling me that my blog description does not match the content of my blog. But at least they have admitted (again) that I do actually have a blog. What a bunch of f*ckwits!xo
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@PM Taylor: This situation definitely reeks of the McDonald's factor. And the amusing thing is that they have yet to put two and two together that this a rant about them!
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@The Chick in the Chair Perspective: Welcome back! Glad you enjoyed the rant.
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@Amber LaShell: Thanks for your support -- and the clarification that this is actually a blog. Maybe those Technorati f*ckwits will read your comment and finally get a clue!
Jesus. If that's what it takes to get more people to follow me, then I'm not so sure...
ReplyDeleteI would have probably lost my patience a long time ago.
ReplyDeleteIs it worth the hassle?
ReplyDeleteI've tried other pimp-out methods to no avail.
I'll even do one more by planting my blog address here like a spamming a-hole.
(hugs)
http://seriouslyreallyseriously.blogspot.com
Aw, sorry about the technotards (another awesome word, btw). Maybe there's a link your followers can click to help you get your point across? Or maybe we can just email them and ask what the fuck kind of blog directory doesn't recognize a blog when it sees one?
ReplyDeletelol, glad to hear it, and none taken :0)
ReplyDelete@Bagel Fairy: You might be right. I noticed I have actually lost a follower in the midst of this process.
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@Jumble Mash: Oh, I definitely lost mine several days back for sure!
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@StephanieC: You are always welcome to leave your blog address here. Pimp away!
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@Mrs. Hyde: A link would be awesome and way too easy for those jackarses. That was pretty moronic for Technorati to claim my blog wasn't a blog. I didn't realize that blogspot hosted anything other than blogs.
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@DarrenK: : )
What a bunch of cock knockers.
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