Sunday, November 21, 2010

Abducted by aliens



Have you ever had one of those totally bizarre experiences that completely denied any and all sort of logic or reason? Well, I certainly have. One week ago something happened that made me wonder if perhaps I was being punk’d by Ashton Kutcher or if maybe I had indeed truly lost my marbles once and for all.

Last Sunday evening after leaving my underground parking garage I switched on the stereo in my car to discover nothing but the garbled sounds of static on every single radio station that I tuned into. How odd I thought. Once I arrived at my destination I exited my vehicle and shockingly discovered that the radio antenna was missing. Gone. Vanished. No longer in existence.

All I could frustratingly think was “WTF?” and “who in the hell effing steals a radio antenna?” not to mention “oh, great now I have to deal with finding time to replace the damn thing”. Blah, blah, blah…

Then I commenced with a bit of reasoning and considered that perhaps the antenna had simply fallen off. Not likely though because I knew for a fact that the antenna was there the previous day when I was out tooling around town with the top down and the stereo reasonably cranked up until such point that I parked my car back safe and snuggly into its parking space.

Next I quickly ruled out the possibility of some disgruntled neighbor pulling a prank, mainly because I don’t know anyone and rarely if ever come into any sort of contact with other tenants.

I also ruled out some pissed-off fame whoring celebutard getting even with me for some snarky but true blog post I had written about them, mainly because The Ranter’s Box is anonymous and also because that whole theory is just plain ludicrous.

Anyhoo, things took a further turn for the really freaking weird when exactly three days later I discovered much to my surprise an antenna on the back of my car. Only this time, it was a completely different antenna but an antenna all the same. Talk about feeling like you are in the midst of some wacky episode of The Twilight Zone!

I quickly rang one of my friends who had witnessed and confirmed that my car antenna was actually missing off the back of my vehicle and not a figment of my crazy-ass imagination. When I informed her there was now an antenna on my car and that I had not put there, she was about as equally gob smacked as I was. Both of us are still shaking our heads in disbelief.

About the only plausible explanation I can now come up with is that some little green men flew their alien spacecraft into my parking garage this past Sunday night, saw my cute little car and figured that its antenna would make a great make-shift probe to stick up the arse of some poor alien abductee. And while those aliens were kind enough to return an antenna to my car three days later, now all I can think about is the nasty butt juice that must be all over it!

Have a great week my lovelies!
xo The Empress

27 comments:

  1. Odd indeed. I'd be all panick-y, wondering if someone was watching with me and effing with my head.

    Stuff like that creeps me out, big time.

    I wonder if someone busted it by accident and felt compelled to replace it? I know most people don't care generally, but perhaps it was someone with wide arms, heavy grocery bags, and a conscience?

    Nah, you're right... I'm going with aliens.

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  2. @Stephanie C: Ah, someone with a conscience would be far more preferable to the other creepy alternatives : )

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  3. This is probably far fetched, but are you sure it's your car?






    :P I know it is, but I just wanted to make you think.

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  4. that was my thought. Someone busted it and felt so guilty they flogged one off another car to replace it. Although if they then feel guilty for pinching it of another car, it might disappear again. Rather odd but at least you have your radio back.

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  5. Ok, you're just going to have to smell it.....
    x
    Corianda
    http://corianda-corianda.blogspot.com

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  6. Butt juice is the worst. It never washes out.

    Clearly some vandals stole it for nefarious deeds best left to the imagination. The replacement is a mystery, but I would simply crank up the Queen instead of questioning my good fortune.

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  7. @Megan: Ha! Maybe it's not!

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    @Mynx: Yes, having the radio back minus any trips to the car dealership is a huge plus : )

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    @Corianda: Ewwwww! ...So glad to have you back my dear. xo

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    @Drake Sigar: Happy as a clam about the good fortune part ...the fact that butt juice never washes out, not so much ; )

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  8. The universe is full of mystery. Consider this one of them. An odd one, but a mystery nonetheless! The new antennae didn't by chance have the face of Jesus imprinted somewhere on it did it? Then you'd have thousands of worshippers flocking to your car to witness the miracle!

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  9. That's too weird. It just magically reappeared? Maybe someone felt guilty for robbing you the joys of local radio? Hmm.

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  10. Maybe the TSA took it to use in their molestings err screenings.

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  11. That is freaking weird!!!!! I wonder if some kid had an underground thiefing spree and took everytone else's antennae's and then felt guilty and came back to replace them, only they were replaced on the wrong cars?

    I like the sound of that much better than butt juice, anyway!

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  12. I now have the music from the Twilight Zone stuck in my head. Not to mention I will now have to compulsively check for my car's antenna.

    Thanks so much. LOL

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  13. How completely odd...

    Good thing you have the confirmation of your friend that the whole thing actually happened. I'd be checking myself in to some sort of clinic-for-the-radio-insane otherwise.

    Super weird. Thanks for sharing, though. For some reason this story kinda made my day!

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  14. Now that is weird!! I hope you ran through the carwash to get that stinky stuff off of it.

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  15. I was thinking the same thing as Stephanie and Mynx. But if aliens did replace yours with a former probe, I wonder if the abductee has rectal pain every time you play your radio?

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  16. You guys leave the absolute best comments in the blogosphere! Thanks for making my day : )

    @Lolamouse: No Jesus imprintations as far as I'm aware but I will be sure to double check.

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    @Jumble Mash: Yes, beyond weird. I'm just thankful that it reappeared and I can commence with enjoying my tunes!

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    @Oilfield Trash: I think you just might be on to something there. TSA probing device ; )

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    @Aunt of 14: Theiving teenager with a guilty conscience sounds much better than butt juice covered probing device for sure!

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    @J.Day: Just doing my civic duty my dear! xo

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    @Alexa O: Welcome back my friend! Glad to learn I was able to bring a bit of joy to your day. Hugs!

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    @Bouncin' Barb: Ha! You know I did!!

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    @Mrs. Hyde: That is hilarious and probably a very likely possibility! xo

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  17. damn those aliens...

    you do not have those faux cowhide car seat covers do you?

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  18. I know what happened!!! *this will make sense* I swear my mom did this once! I was getting out of line one time when I was 8 and my mom pulled of someone's car antenna and WHIPPED MY MONKEY ASS WITH IT! ...I bet that's what happened!

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  19. i told my Alien friends to leave your car alone so sorry they are very hard to control sometimes

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  20. Weird. Honestly the closest thing I have come to anything like that was never. Although once my windows wouldn't go down in my car, but that got fixed.

    Yeah my life is boring when it comes to the paranormal.

    http://theadorkableditzmissteps.blogspot.com/

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  21. @Bruce: That be a negative on the faux cowhide seat covers.

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    @Falen: How very creative of your mom! And I wouldn't be surprised if something like that actually did happen with my antenna.

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    @becca: Thank you for telling the aliens to reel it in ...and for getting them to return my antenna ; )

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    @The Adorkable Ditz: I'll be sure to send the alien spacecraft over your way if I ever actually encounter it.

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  22. Hey! I have given you an award! Stop by and check it out.

    jumblemash.blogspot.com

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  23. Pretty sure it is a government plot to undermine your sanity...and to influence music ratings :-)

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  24. omg, you know what IIIIIII would be worried about? you know, aside from ZOMG ALIENS!!!! ? that the owner of the antenna now on your car is going to see it and be like "this a-hole stole my antenna!" and you'll be like "no, no, it was the aliens!" and then the person will call the police because not everyone is as accepting of alien antenna abduction theories!

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  25. Maybe it's been stolen by devious little monkeys. They get everywhere you know.

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  26. Love your theory. I've long suspected aliens. I mean, honestly, we can't really believe that we are the highest and most advanced life form out there.

    PS - you've got some blog love over at my place. Come check it out.

    www.rantsravesfactsandfics.blogspot.com

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  27. @Jumble Mash: Thank you kindly for the award. You are beyond generous when it comes to filling up The Ranter's Box trophy case. xo

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    @Dad: Silly government. Isn't all the brain washing done through the radio? ; )

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    @Madame DeFarge: Oh please, not those creepy flying monkeys from the Wizard of Oz!

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    @Semi True Torystellar: Thanks for the blog love! I feel honored.

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