Friday, May 13, 2011

Dorky doesn’t fall far from the tree

Let me preface this post by clearly stating that I am NOT one to say cruel or unkind things about someone’s level of attractiveness, height or other physical characteristics they can’t change because that would be just plain mean. However, I’m sure we’d all agree that there ARE plenty of things that a person can change when it comes to their overall appearance – things like grooming, hairstyle, and choice of clothing.

Apparently though, not everyone is aware of or even cares about this simple fact. There are segments of the population that seem less than inclined to dress or groom themselves in any way that is personally flattering or at all connected to the current trends of society. Perhaps these sorts of people want to focus upon being unique like Lady Gaga or Donald Trump. Or perhaps it is because they reside in Amish Country. Or maybe they are just plain clueless.

Case in point, once while out hiking my friend and I came across a family that caused us to look at each other with seriously raised eyebrows. Within this family was a young boy who could have been seen as your typical cute kid had his parents NOT ignorantly dressed him in high-waisted shorts that came up to his arm pits, a tucked in t-shirt, long black knee socks, and an incredibly moronic sun bonnet tied securely under his chin.

Seriously, the outfit was so bad that even Mr. Rogers would have laughed. The parents might as well have put a giant sign on the kid’s back that said “KICK ME” and then sent him straight into the clutches of the school bully because dressed like that Little Bonnet Boy is definitely doomed to be stuffed into school lockers and have his lunch money stolen on a regular basis.

Reflecting upon that kind of scenario does make one wonder about the kind of parents that would do such a thing to their young, innocent and impressionable child. But the answer to that particular question became readily apparent a few moments later when the kid’s father came strolling up the hiking path dressed in virtually the same idiotic nerdy outfit as his son.

So yes, apparently the phrase is true about the apple not falling far from the tree. Thanks to his dorky parents and their asinine way of attiring themselves and their offspring, this poor unfortunate dork-in-the-making doesn’t stand a chance in hell. Which is just plain wrong.

While it is true that not everyone is destined to be the school beauty queen or coolest kid on the block, no child should be should have the misfortune of being made (at the hands of their parents) into the class misfit or local social reject. There are plenty of affordable discount stores like Ross, Walmart, The Warehouse or even second-hand stores where parents can purchase children’s clothing that is reasonably stylish and looks like it comes from this decade.

So to all the clueless parents out there, please do your child a huge favor and actually think about this the next time you are dressing them or out shopping for their clothes …And NO, your kid would NOT love to wear that stupid reindeer holiday sweater with the pretty sparkles and ridiculous matching hat…

xo The Empress


  1. heh... it makes me want to revisit the Butterface conversation I had on my blog a few months back.

    Being a butterface is one thing, but keep in mind butter melts easily. Sounds like you found a cache of butterbodies... and some bad parenting to boot.

  2. On the contrary, I was once one of those kids. My mother dressed me like a dork. Yes my life was hell till I started buying my own stuff.

    However, I, like the little boy in your story, wasn't doomed to dorkdom forever. I have since managed to become one of the more stylish people I know.

  3. I'm guessing the parents were just clueless.

    @Not the Hero: Thanks for providing your perspective. It's always inspiring when people are able to move beyond their early childhood programming and decide for themselves who and what they want to be.

  4. At first I was wondering if maybe it was a money issue and the parents didn't have many options for the kids clothes but after reading all the way through I think the parents are just really stupid.

  5. Now that sounds ridiculous. Glad I'm not THAT kid!

  6. That's just jacked up! Being black, I was often a hair crime scene! My mom had no clue on how to do hair, so I always looked a hot damn mess from the eye brows up! I would take crapy clothes over jacked up hair anyday!!

  7. bit of luck that child will just say no when it comes to clothes for school.
    I didnt even think they sold shorts like that any more. I was always in trouble with the mother in law for dressing my kids in trendy long shorts.
    Now they wear what they want. Generally black

  8. Haha, and it'll be those photos that come out at the kid's 21st party.

    My photo was taken at a lookout at the Waitakere Ranges in Auckland, NZ by the way! Was there to see the sunset, but it wasn't as spectacular as we were anticipating. Made for a good photo, anyhow :)

  9. @Anonymous: The family looked far from poverty stricken. What they were lacking in was common sense.

    @The Adorkable Ditz: It was beyond ridiculous!

    @Thundercat: Aw, that sucks mama but you wouldn't be saying that if you had actually seen that kid's sun bonnet!

    @Mynx: I think they picked up the clothing at "Dorks R Us". I'm all for being safe in the sun, but dorky girlish sun bonnets on a boy is just plain mean.

    @Linnykins: Definitely ...and the parents will smile and think just how adorable their boy looked. ...And thank you for continuing to post your amazing photographs. They always make me smile and think fondly of home.

  10. Some people have no concept of popular clothing trends or culture and seem to exist in a bubble of their own making. That poor kid.

  11. @Tony Van Helsing: So true and in this case the bubble was "major geekville". Poor kid indeed!

  12. Some people dress their children like they dress their pets. It's a shame (yet provides me with much-needed laughter from time-to-time). I always feel bad for the kid who has no choice in what he wears. He's held hostage by the fact that he's a child and has to rely on his parents to put clothes on his back. Poor, little guy. He looks like he belongs on the side of a stick of butter instead of in public.

  13. @Thank, Q: You crack me up! So, shall we rename little bonnet boy to 'little butter boy'???


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