Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Fame Whoring – Paris Hilton edition

Just when you think that ditzy, oh-so-innocent celebutard otherwise known as Paris Hilton has FINALLY gone away and crawled back under the rock from which she came, she remerges to plaster her fame-whoring ass all over yet another asinine business venture. And no boys and girls, it’s not an all natural, non-pharmaceutical version of columbian tang that she is hawking.

This time P. Hilty has decided (being the incredibly knowledgeable motorcycle expert that she is) that she would go out and get her very own little team on the world motorcycle championship circuit. …Because she needed a seemingly legitimate excuse to parade around in skin tight motorcycle costumes without obviously appearing like the super skanky Barbie wanna-be that she is.

From 2011-2013 the SuperMartXe VIP by Paris Hilton team will embarrassingly compete in the 125cc racing category all kitted out in hot pink and blue motorcycles emblazoned with her name. …No word yet whether or not the team’s racing uniforms will be rhinestone bedazzled with fluffy hot pink feathered trim.

Paris was so freaking excited about the whole ridonkulous deal that she tweeted “I can’t believe I have my own racing team! So cool! :)” And she even committed to attending at least five actual races during the next season.

Wow! Five whole races. How in the world will she ever manage to fit them in between all the crazy partying, paparazzi bribing, shopping, champagne swilling and raunchy table dancing?

Someone please make her go the effing hell away …once and for all …I’m just saying…


  1. @Empress, that is what you get when you give too much money to a spoilt brat. She wants to buy toys, even those that the rest of us do not consider to be toys! Possibly she was not sober when she made the decision, hence she cannot believe it!

  2. but how boring would the world be without her and other plastic people? We would have so much less to laugh at.

  3. @Mthoko: I believe you are on to something there my friend. She was probably drunk and figured the motorcycle team would be fun to buy. Whatever is the world coming to?


    @Mynx: So true. Between P. Hilty, Lindsay, the Kardashians, etc. I could write for weeks on end.

  4. she's just following her BFF (or ex BFF? i can't keep up) Kim K. Who, together with QuickTrim, sponsors some sort of car racing team. It was on an old episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians (i was bored. don't hate on me!). So unnecessary. Imagine how embarrassed the drivers / riders are? x P

  5. @Precious and Jemily: No hating at all! Just consider it blog research... Oh, you know those drivers (if they ever find any) will be beyond embarrassed. Let's hope they are well compensated.

  6. If I were a "Hilton" I would be so embarassed to share my name with her. The hotel empire sure wasn't thinking she would represent the name. She just doesn't go away. Where else but good ol' USA do we take a convicted DUI offender, drug abuser and make them a friggen' icon? Unreal.

  7. I cant stand here. She's not that pretty and when she makes her own money minus all the porn and off her famous last name then I'll consider her famous but until then she;s infamous.

  8. Wow. They let her buy a racing team. That's scary. Those poor racers.

  9. Even though I did spend an extra few seconds staring at that photo.. ok, maybe an extra minute or two, I still think this is as ridiculous as you do.

    Someone probably told her this would be a good investment, which unfortunately, it probably will be since she'll bring a new group of morons to watch the sport.


  10. I'll console myself with the image of Ms. Hilton's firey demise due to an "un"fortunate motorcycle accident.

  11. Wow. I keep waiting for irrelevance to fully claim her, but no such luck.

  12. I think they were compensated precipitous to buying the team... just sayin'... I'm sorry, but why was anyone ever following the Kardashians, again? What is it they do? I'm just so glad that Nicole has removed PH from her life... PH is a serious bad influence on anyone... Happy Holidays.

    Come visit when you can and don't forget to check out my other blog, too!

  13. I was JUST thinking this yesterday. WHY THE HECK IS SHE BACK ON THE SCENE?! This motorcycle club thingy, the judge reducing her sentence thingy, and there was something else going on with her that I forgot because it wasn't worth remembering, all on at once and I'm like what.the.hell. So sickening.

  14. Did she suddenly get a set of tits? Because she didn't have those in that porno she did.

  15. i find her a source of entertainment someone to laugh at and make fun of only because she does the most stupidest stuff for all to see.

  16. SuperMartXe? Puts you in the mind of the other 'marts'---Wal and K. If Paris wants to throw money away, I've got plenty of shit she can throw it away on!

    Sorry I've been MIA...been sick since Sunday and today I'm declaring myself cured.

  17. @Bouncin' Barb: You said it Barb! Sad but true.

    @The Phoenix Rising: So, I gather you aren't really a Paris fan? ; )

    @Jumble Mash: Very poor little racers indeed!

    @Simple Dude: Sorry to have thrown you off with that photo and the obviously engineered boobage.

    @Vinny C: Thank you for saying what most a probably thinking ; )

    @Danger Boy: Well, we can all still keep on hoping for that miracle.

    @SharleneT: PH IS A BAD INFLUENCE! Whenever will that 15 minutes end?

    @Aunt of 14: Did she really have her sentence reduced in relation to the cocaine charges? I'm still shaking my head...

    @Oilfield Trash: It sort of looks like she got a new set from Santa but Paris seems to go from flat (normal) to pumped up every so often. Maybe it's all that air shifting down from her brain.

    @becca: So true. Makes for great blog fodder!

    @Mrs. Hyde: Well, the "mart" category is right up her alley. ...So sorry to hear you have been sick. Here is a big hug and a batch of healing mojo!

  18. I'm with you about making her go away...I am tired of her and a bunch of these stupid "reality" TV stars and other supposed celebrities. It's embarrassing.

  19. you know i can't figure out if she is the dumbest person around, or the smartest... does she know exactly what she's doing, or does she just do what people tell her to do?

    I think i'm going with the dumbest.

  20. holyf*ing sh*t on a stick! i think i just lost my tacos...

    she is a barfbag with boobs....

    glad my handgun is not loaded or i may have just ended it all...this IS a depressing time of year...and now this...

    bruce johnson jadip
    stupid stuff i see and hear
    Bruce’s guy book
    the guy book

  21. So does this mean you DON'T want to be the president of her fan club???

  22. her fame whoring ass - love it. Yep she has gone a bit quiet of late but, like the plague, these types never go away.

  23. HAha! Wonder if any 'real' riders will be on the team? But it's got to be all good for motorcycling from now on - the sport will surely become more popular now it's been sanctioned with her imprimatur!!

    Happy travels!!

  24. @The Adorkable Ditz: Why don't we start a petition. Maybe we can get her sent to Siberia or something ; )

    @Amber LaShell: I'm going with dumber than a box of rocks in general. Although she is quite crafty when it comes to talking her way out of all of her misdeeds.

    @Bruce: HA! "Barfbag with boobs". That is hilarious. Although the boobage in the photo looks fairly well engineered. Probably water bra, push-up bra and those "chicken cutlet" thingy that some girls stuff in their bras. Either way, she is rather barf inducing ; )

    @Chief AKA Dad: Ummm, that would be a NO!!!

    @David L Macaulay: She is the plague, reborn.

    @Red Nomad OZ: That racing team is doomed to be one hot mess for sure.

  25. Dammit I thought we were rid of that brain dead talking weave!!!!!! I always shiver when I see a bottle of peroxide because of her!!

  26. Let's not forget trips to the STD clinic. That takes time you know. Plus who'd sit on that seat now?

    Oh bitchy for so early. So be it. :)

    Merry Christmas, Empress!

  27. @Falen aka Thundercat832: She is like a cockroach, nothing can seem to get rid of her!

    @The Vegetable Assassin: Bitchy is good and oh so appropriate when it comes that nasty P. Hilty. ...Merry Christmas to you too!


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