Psychos and Shopping Carts

We’ve all had to deal with those clunky, cumbersome shopping carts with those wonky wheels that are about as hard to push through the grocery store as an overloaded trash dumpster. Then there are those filthy, nasty carts that actually do look like the inside of a trash can -- complete with sticky goo, old receipts and stray bits of left over produce. There are also the stray, unmanned shopping carts that some wanker leaves out in the middle of the parking lot because they are too fricking lazy to take the cart and put it back in the cart corral where it belongs. And of course those stray carts are inevitably destined to go on a solo hit-and-run mission throughout the parking lot running over little old ladies and scraping up the side of your car, which absolutely pisses me off -- as much as I imagine it ticks off those ole blue hairs with the shopping cart wheel marks running down their backs.

But anyhow, basically I hate shopping carts and therefore avoid them at all costs. Yesterday however, I didn’t have so much luck with my usual avoidance strategy. There I was intending to make a quick stop into the local grocery store to pick up a few items. Fairly quickly I had loaded up my hand basket and with my other free hand I carried a large jug of water. It was a bit of a juggling act but no real problem since there was (lucky me!) an open checkout counter to walk straight up to. Or so I thought. Out of nowhere comes this psychotic dude driving his big ass shopping cart like it was an assault vehicle. He was absolutely determined that he was going to race me to the cash register and cut me off at the pass. At that point I was struggling and about to accidentally drop my shopping basket on the ground, but somehow managed to get it on to the check-out counter. As the cashier was asking me if I was ok, she and I both turned to look in shock as the crazy guy’s shopping cart came within inches of rear ending me. I couldn’t help but ask that A-hole if perhaps he was in a such a hurry that he needed to go in front of me. He replied that no he didn’t need to go first, he just thought he would come over to another checkout lane. Seriously dude? Like WTF? Did I forget that I had left on my Harry Potter invisibility cloak or something and he just couldn’t see me? Or maybe, the jerk gets his kicks by playing shopping cart derby, or maybe he liked my perfume, who the hell knows… Anyway, the dick proceeded to follow my out into the parking lot trying to garner further unaccepted attention from me. And because I was rightfully convinced that he was a complete and utter nutter, I kept my eye on him while I was driving away. And wouldn’t you know it, the bastard left his shopping cart out in the middle of the crowded parking lot!

Please just go away already Jake & Vienna

Reality TV and show hosting reached an all-time low last night when The Bachelorette dedicated a full 30 minutes of scintillating programming to the ‘after the break up reunion of Jake and Vienna’. In case you don’t happen to read the trash tabloids, Jake and Vienna were the most recent destined-to-be-together-forever couple who hooked up on The Bachelor. She was the mean and skanky-like ho that all the girls on the show hated. He was the douchey pilot (who was dumped by the previous Bachelorette Jillian, Joanie or whatever the f*uck her name was) and later cast as the new Bachelor… Yeah, I know, it truly is an absolute freaking nightmare just trying to keep up with the ridiculous reality TV soap opera that the ABC network has conceived… But anyway, during the not-to-be-missed-reunion, tool-head Jake and weepy Vienna had a full-on knock down drag out bicker fest. They argued about everything from GPS, to furniture arrangement and even dog poo. Apparently Jakey wasn’t giving up the ole sausage and Vienna was feeling neglected and unloved. Jake was whining about how he felt undermined and emasculated (yes his words, but kind of ironic considering how he always seems to comes across as an overly emotional, wussy big girl’s blouse). There were also accusations of infidelity, lying and fame whoring! When the opposing parties got hung up arguing about Vienna’s dog, the host Chris Harrison finally interjected and said “No one cares about the dog” -- which had to be the best and only redeeming line of this completely embarrassing saga. It is my sincere hope that Chris Harrison will finally wake up and realize that he is quickly turning into the scummy new mayor of Jerry Springerville – and go get a real job. As for Jake and Vienna, one can only hope that they crawl back under whatever rocks they originally came from under, because frankly, no one really gives a shit …I’m just saying…

La-Z-Boy DUI ... Don't try this at home boys and girls!

(This is a photo of the actual La-Z-Boy drunken driving mobile!)

Combine an industrious nature with sheer stupidity and you have one reliable recipe for disaster folks! Good ole boy Dennis LeRoy Anderson of Proctor, Minnesota is known for having a way with engines, a desire for comfort and mobility, and penchant for getting regularly sauced. Being the clever 60 something year old fella that he is, Dennis came up with the brilliant plan to take his beloved La-Z-Boy recliner and kit it out with nothing less than:

-a Briggs & Stratton engine …as you do!
-a steering wheel, headlights, and power antenna …but of course!
-hot rod racing stickers …‘cause you gots to look cool!
-a stereo …what would a tricked-out ride be without some dope tunes?
-and those ever-important cup holders …so you can take the party with you baby!

Apparently Mr. Ass-for-brains thought his ride was da bomb, so much so that one night he decided it would be good fun to take his prized converted lounge chair out on the road and down to the local pub …as you do. Dennis proceeded to consume no less than 8 or 9 cold ones in the bar before heading out. He then strapped himself into his motorized La-Z-Boy, revved up the engine and attempted to drive off – at which point he lost control of his furniture and crashed bumper car style into a parked Dodge Intrepid. Shortly thereafter when our champion lounge chair rider was looking around and no doubt wondering WTF had just happened, he was arrested by local police for having a blood alcohol level more than three times the legal limit. Being that Dennis (surprisingly) already had another drunken driving conviction under his belt, there was no sweet talking himself out of this one. Upon facing the judge he pleaded guilty to driving a recliner under the influence and was sentenced to jail time and a stiff fine. And to ensure the future safety of the public, this dumb arse’s decked-out recliner was also impounded and later put up for police auction. …Now I don’t know about you, but I’m thinking we should just go ahead and give this dude an honorary ‘Darwin Award’ because he is obviously swimming in the shallow end of the gene pool, and well, we all know that no good can come of that! … I’m just saying…

Deux faux cantaloupes ala Kim K.

Say what you will about Kim Kardashian, her critically acclaimed reality show or her ‘I want to pose naked but don’t want to seem like I like it’ modeling gigs -- she is clearly here to stay my darlings. No mere 15-minutes of fame for the big bootyed one, girlfriend went and got a brand spanking new wax replica of herself at Madame Tussauds in New York City. Talk about landing the coveted celebrity holy grail, she is now forever immortalized in wax for the entire world to see! Miss Kim being bestowed with such an enviable honor can only mean one thing people -- she is officially a big time, fancy ‘A-list’ star … either that or the artists who craft those creepy wax creature clones thought it would be jolly good fun to make a mockery of her curvy assets. Case in point, check out this photo of Kim and her waxy twin at the official unveiling event:



Now is it just me or does Real Kim seem to be looking at Waxy Kim and wondering why her imitation rack looks like two cantaloupes coming out of her collar bones? With all of the shit that Real Kim is reported to get about alleged plastic surgery, was it really such a good idea for Waxy Kim to come out looking like the jacked up ‘before’ photo in an advertisement for correcting botched plastic surgery? … Aw, poor little Kimmy. It can’t feel very nice to find that one’s very own wax doppelganger is rocking some mighty unflattering boobage. I’m guessing that Mama K took one look at that anatomically incorrect mess that was supposed to represent her daughter and then went all dragon lady on the asses of those wax artists. No doubt there will be some highly touted E reality special documenting the whole riveting debacle… If only we the public are so lucky … Not!

Online Dating Profiles … and Lies

Hey Ranter’s Box fans! Being that it is a long holiday weekend (i.e. my creative brain is on vacation today) and we have some brand new readers who may have not seen this original post, I thought I would re-share it with ya’ll…
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LIKE IT OR NOT, online dating is here to stay. In theory it is a great way to connect with potential romantic prospects with whom you would have probably otherwise never met. But I did say theory here folks! In reality though, both my male and female friends have many gripes about the murky world of online dating. With this in mind I would like to offer a few dating profile tips.

GUYS:
1. Don’t lie about things like your height or alleged athletic prowess. If your profile says you are 6’3 and a master of multiple sports, the ladies ARE going to notice if when meeting you that you are only 5’6 and are sporting a Homer Simpson belly.

2. Don’t post photos that in any way misrepresent who you are physically as a person. If you are balding, overweight, less muscular, turning gray or whatever, then own it with confidence and let the ladies decide if they find the real you attractive.

3. Don’t fabricate the level of your career success. If you say that you own a large real estate development company and in reality you are an agent for the local REMAX, then the ladies are going to think you are a dick and wonder what else you are lying about.

4. Don’t lie about your age in your profile. If you say that you are younger than you really are but in your photos you look like someone’s great grandfather, then at the end of the day the only person you will be fooling -- and playing hide the salami with is yourself.

5. Don’t post your profile on an online relationship dating site stating that you are looking for a serious relationship or marriage if in reality you are merely looking for a quick hookup. There are dating sites geared specifically for players so use them instead!


LADIES:
1. Don’t post photos of yourself where you are airbrushed beyond anything even close to resembling the “real” you. You are far better off posting more authentic photos of yourself and letting the guys decide if they find you visually appealing, otherwise you are just setting yourself up for disappointment when a guy you fancy never calls you back because of your ingenious “bait and switch” tactics.

2. Don’t lie about your age. Yes, men are known for liking younger women. However if you take care of yourself and look good for your age, then the year you were born won’t really matter as long as a man finds you attractive.

3. Don’t post half naked or skanky photos of yourself. Yes, men find a sexy woman incredibly appealing, however sexy is an attitude and comes from inside not from some hoochie mama getup you are wearing. And remember, while guys might bang a skanky chick they will never consider one for a serious relationship.

4. Don’t post some “princess looking for a sugar daddy” profile and then later wonder why guys treat you like a whore. There are special dating sites geared specifically for gold diggers so please go peddle your lady bits there instead!

5. And absolutely no “buts”, excuses or justifications for why you aren’t abiding by these rules! Be yourself not some manufactured image you think will attract the most men.

With that all being said, of course everyone involved in online dating wants to market themselves in the very best way possible, we all get that. However, if a person isn’t also portraying themselves authentically then what they are really doing is misrepresenting -- which equates to lying. And no one wants to start a relationship based on lies! …I’m just saying…

“3 to 5 days” my ass Stream Energy!

After the most recent experience of bad customer service had by one of my close relatives, I am fairly convinced that some companies have no business actually being in business. Apparently there is some crappy utility company that operates out of Georgia and Texas called Stream Energy -- that should really think about changing its name to ‘Steaming Pile of Turd’ Energy because the only thing that comes out of the mouth of their customer service employees is complete and utter BS!

Case in point, my relative requested a Letter of Credit (LOC) from Stream Energy when moving from one city to another. The LOC was required by the new utility company in order to waive the security deposit. All Stream Energy had to do was fax or email the LOC to the new utility company -- which is a fairly common practice amongst utility providers. The original customer service rep at Stream Energy said that it would take 3 to 5 days to process the LOC request. A month and a half later my relative discovered that the security deposit from the new utility provider had not been waived because Stream Energy never sent the LOC. Upon following up with Stream Energy and being disconnected no less than four times by their shitty automated phone system my relative experienced the following never-ending saga:

Stream Energy (SE) Customer Service Rep: This is Stream Energy, how can I help you?

Relative: Hi, I requested a Letter of Credit a month and a half ago and it was never sent to my new utility provider. I was told it would only take 3 to 5 days for the request to be processed.

SE Customer Service Rep: Well, I’m not sure why that happened. I can put in another request but it will take 3 to 5 days to process.

Relative: Well, it has already been a month and a half. Could you possibly look into where the request might have gone off track? Perhaps the request was misplaced.

SE Customer Service Rep: Um, I can put in another request for you but it will take 3 to 5 days to process.

Relative: So, you are saying that it will take another 3 to 5 days to process a request to find out what happened to the original request? Or that you can have the actual LOC sent within 3 to 5 business days?

SE Customer Service Rep: Um, I can put in another request but like I said it is going to take 3 to 5 days to process.

Relative: Ok, obviously we aren’t getting anywhere here. Could I please speak with a supervisor?

SE Customer Service Rep: Ok, let me put you on hold while I get a supervisor… the phone is then disconnected forcing my relative to have to call back and go through the automated queue AGAIN.

2nd Customer Service Rep: …doesn’t speak coherent English forcing my relative to have to call back yet again…

3rd Customer Service Rep: …argumentative and gives the same ‘3 to 5 day’ line of BS… so my relative demands to speak to whomever is in charge of the Customer Service Department, which ends up being someone called a Resolutions Specialist…

Resolutions Specialist: Hi, this is so-and-so. I understand you have an issue that needs to be resolved. How can I help you?

Relative: Yes, I have been trying for a month and a half to get a LOC sent to my new utility provider. The request hasn’t been processed and I’m trying to find out how we can get this sorted out.

Resolutions Specialist: I can put in a request for you but know that it will take 3 to 5 days to process.

Relative: I am fully aware of your 3 to 5 day policy but I am trying to find out what happened to my original request. Perhaps the LOC is sitting on someone’s desk. It has now been 45 days and there is still no LOC. Are you able to look into this for me?

Resolutions Specialist: Um, there isn’t really anything for me to look into. Like I said, I can put in another request but it is going to take 3 to 5 days to process…blah, blah, blah…

Relative: So let me get this right, you say you are a Resolutions Specialist? Well, I can tell you that you aren’t resolving shit! I’ve about had enough of your 3 to 5 day policy. You are telling me the same exact thing that all of your Customer Service Reps said. I want someone to tell me once and for all exactly when I can expect to receive the actual LOC… yelling and most likely some further cursing ensued…

Resolutions Specialist: …blah, blah, blah… 3 to 5 days… by that time my relative was beyond pissed and hung up…

After going to the Stream Energy website and finding contact information for their corporate office my relative sent an email entailing what had transpired and asked for assistance in resolving this matter. And surprise, surprise an unnamed person from the company actually emailed back asking for some additional information. When replying with the requested information the email bounced back to my relative saying it was undeliverable! The idiot at the corporate office hadn’t provided direct contact information or a valid email address so it was BACK TO SQUARE ONE!

At that point all the co-workers at my relative’s office were in total shock over what had happened -- and most likely still laughing over my relative having torn a new ass into that f*ckwit of a Resolutions Specialist. Someone finally suggested that my relative call a mutual contact at Stream Energy and see if they could help get the matter resolved once and for all. The call was made, a couple of questions were asked and answered, and within two minutes a bright and shiny Letter of Credit was faxed over. Need met, problem solved. It was a simple as that!
…So Attention Stream Energy: It’s official, your Customer Service Department SUCKS!

DJ For A Minute - Just For One Night

Here is a shout-out to blog follower ‘G’ who requested this fun music video by the awesomely talented band Jeremy Buck & The Bang. If you haven’t heard of JB&TB then you have definitely been missing out. Their most recent song ‘Just For One Night’ was in full rotation at 100.3 The Sound in Los Angeles. To be an unsigned band and to receive regular radio play in this day and age is incredibly impressive. To be talented musicians, exceptional performers, and all-round great guys, well that just makes JB&TB all the more special. And so you can better understand just what I’m raving about my friends, I say crank up your computer speakers and click play, because it’s time to get ‘BUCKED’!



Attention Music Industry Executives: Someone needs to snap these guys up and sign them already! ... I'm just saying...

Reality TV - "I mean, who does that?"

Reality TV in general is a bit like visiting a televised human zoo. Put fame-hungry participants inside a television fishbowl, stir in some manufactured drama and watch the mayhem begin. Whether these types of shows are completely fake, semi-scripted or just too freaking crazy for anyone to have made up, reality television certainly makes for an interesting study in human behavior. Cast members tend to be either bitchy, stupid, trashy, overly emotional, manipulative, slutty, domineering, attention seeking -- or just plain wackadoodle. And sometimes those human train wrecks otherwise known as reality ‘stars’ are blessed with several or even all of those highly appealing attributes. I know this because I have been earning my armchair doctorate in psychology by watching this season’s critically acclaimed show The Bachelorette. Yes, I am somewhat embarrassed to admit this fact, but even so there is nothing quite like watching 25 guys going head-to-head in highly unrealistic situations trying to win the affections of one lone girl. The power plays, backstabbing, crying, and sheer craziness demonstrated by some of the men on this show are absolutely legendary. Seriously, a couple of these dudes need to either check themselves into the nearest psycho ward, grow some balls, or just plain never show their faces in public again. Case in point, check out this video of wussy Justin Rego an ‘entertainment wrestler’ from Canada who literally attempts to escape through the bushes after being caught out for having not one but two girlfriends back home:



I’m pretty much guessing this little escapade of Justin’s won’t bode too well for his career as ‘Rated R’ the scary professional wrestler nor for his love life now that all the ladies across the globe know what a lying, conniving tool he REALLY is. Buh-bye Rated R, don't let the dressing room door hit you in the ass!

Frustrations with Toilet Paper

Toilet paper is a basic household staple and generally isn’t given a whole lot of thought. Today however I was reminded how something as simple as toilet paper can have the ability to annoy the absolute piss out of people. In light of this matter I think it is high time that someone address those moronic makers of bathroom tissue.

Dear Toilet Paper Manufacturers,

Would you please NOT use SO MUCH glue to seal the end of new toilet paper rolls that it is virtually impossible to get to the actual toilet paper itself? I do not appreciate grabbing for a new roll and having to stand there for five minutes -pee dripping down my leg – fighting to get the damn roll open. By the time I am finally finished ripping and tearing my way past all of the glue it looks as if some psychotic cat used the toilet paper roll as a scratching post. This displeases me greatly and I am fed up. Please take this under immediate advisement.

Thank you,

Another Annoyed Consumer

CC: People Fed Up with Unusable Toilet Paper Rolls

Oprah’s OWN Audition Video

Ok, so I have some pretty amazing friends, so much so that I have spent the past several weeks visiting the Oprah website and clicking non-stop on the vote button for two of my friends who are auditioning to get their own TV show. Just in case you don’t happen to drink the Oprah kool-aid or are otherwise out of the proverbial loop in the world of television production, the “Big O” is going out and starting up her own TV network. And if that weren’t exciting enough, she is going to be giving some talented, fascinating and incredibly fortunate person their very on television show. While I would be thrilled to pieces to see either of my girlfriends become the world’s next fabulous talk show host, I couldn’t help but check out some of their competition. In doing so I found Zach who is auditioning under the category of ‘wildcard’:



Now I don’t know about you but I say hats off to Zach. Anyone who can put a clever and entertaining Oprah audition tape of themselves -- (complete with a scene of him kitted out in his red ‘underoos’) up on YouTube for the entire world to see gets at least one of my votes!

That ugly beast, The Minivan Part II

So as the law of attraction would have it, today when I was out driving around I seemed to encounter one old, butt-ugly minivan after another. It was almost as if some mythical minivan overlord was trying to get me back for yesterday’s snarky diss on the minivan. And to make matters worse I discovered yet another Toyota commercial trying to brainwash the masses and convince us all just how cool we will be if we race right out and get ourselves a hot new ‘swagger wagon’ :



Yes, I will admit the commercial is creative and even fun … BUT come on people do we really want to have to endure perhaps another decade of minivan hell on the roadways? I know I sure the heck don’t and neither do the People Against Mini-Vans (P.A.M.V.), the Minivan Haters For Life, and the Minivan Haters Club (the last two groups can be found on Facebook by the way). I say it’s time to unite and stop Toyota from attempting to resurrect that nasty monstrosity otherwise known as the minivan. Are you with me minivan haters?

Winner of the Ugly Vehicle Award: The Minivan!

To me, minivans have to be about the most butt-ugly vehicles ever to hit the roadway. I know for a fact that I am not the only one to feel this way about the boxy, clunky, highly unattractive, traffic impeding contraption otherwise known as the dreaded minivan. Kids, SUV driving soccer moms, the general public, we all hate minivans! There is such a longstanding stigma attached to minivans that there is even a group called People Against Mini-Vans (P.A.M.V.) geared toward all those minivan haters. Seriously, look it up on the net – I do not make this shit up my friends.

Now after a bit of reflection I can’t decide which is worse – the actual vehicle itself or the people who drive them. You know what I’m talking about… that annoying minivan driver in the left hand lane of traffic driving 20 mph below the speed limit -- with the turn signal blinking for the last five miles, talking on the cell phone completely oblivious to the other drivers on the road, stuffing their face with McDonalds all while trying to decide which of their eight stupid cup holders to use…

Instances of frustration and even road rage connected to minivans are so legendary that most of us have probably prayed at some point or another that these clueless drivers and their hideous ‘dork-mobiles’ would just go extinct once and for all! ... But alas, the minivan going the way of the dinosaur isn’t going to happen, NOT IF good old Toyota can help it. Right now Toyota is on a major campaign to convince suburbanites across the globe that the minivan, and in particular, the Sienna is so cool that all the neighbors will be jonesing for this spectacular tricked-out ride:



Now, I don’t know about you but I’m not buying into all the Swagger Wagon hype. The advertising executives over at Toyota can ‘spin’ the cool vehicle concept any way they like but a minivan IS, WAS and WILL ALWAYS be a Dork-mobile!… I’m just saying…

Take that, you damn printer!

So yesterday my friend had an Office Space moment and went all ballistic on his printer. Apparently there were curse words flying left and right and perhaps a punch or two which resulted in us taking an unscheduled trip to the office equipment store in search of a new printer. Upon discussing the various equipment options with the store clerk and identifying a suitable replacement, I couldn’t help but ask my friend if maybe he might want to consider a printer that comes upgraded with ‘roo bars’… to which his reply jokingly involved something about being bitch-slapped and we both laughed. Now we’ve all been there before, ready to rip our hair out, seriously contemplating taking a sledge hammer to some crappy printer, fax machine, copier or other related piece of evil office equipment that was clearly brought into our lives with the sole purpose of tormenting us and making our lives a living hell. And we can all pretty much testify that it sure isn’t funny that particular moment we are engaged in full on war with said piece of office equipment… It is however pretty hilarious watching someone else go all postal in that type of situation now isn’t it? …I’m just saying…

Where do those socks missing from the dryer really go?

At some time or another we have all probably wondered “what the hell happened” to that sock that went into the washer but never managed to come back out of the dryer. This is an age-old mystery that perplexes the minds of anyone responsible for washing clothes. In attempt to help appease those troubled and inquiring minds I thought I would undertake some comprehensive research along with a highly scientific poll (NOT!) in search of much needed answers. In doing so I discovered the following:

1. There is no such thing as a mysterious black hole in our dryers that sucks our socks somewhere into space. Apparently if you ask your favorite space geek or Star Trek fan they will exasperatingly explain some mumbo jumbo about collapsed stars and how black holes in the dryer are scientifically impossible.

2. The urban legend about the one-legged burglar who used to break into neighbors’ houses and steal left-footed socks might actually be true! However this petty criminal activity took place back in the 1960’s and the burglar actually died in 1995 so in all fairness we can’t blame this guy today for our recently missing socks.

3. Socks do not magically disappear behind the washing machine drum or into the washing drain. It doesn’t take a mechanical genius to realize that the washer would stop working due to being all clogged up with socks – and that if this did happen with any sort of frequency then the sock mystery would have solved long ago!

4. Your socks may still be in your dryer but you just can’t see them. Dave Cole of Coleskingdom explains that due to worm holes created by your dryer, your missing socks have passed into another plane of existence that we are yet unable to perceive… Interesting and maybe after a couple of cocktails I might be a tad more inclined to buy into that particular theory…

5. There are researchers out there who believe dark magic is responsible for the disappearance of our socks. Seriously? Missing socks are a world-wide phenomena that afflicts us all. Merlin or even Harry Potter himself would have already come up with a ‘missing socks’ counter spell by now if indeed dark magic were truly responsible.

6. There are reports of an alleged “Sock Fairy” that takes our missing socks and gives them to people who don’t have socks of their own. How very kind and oh-so Disney-like, but wouldn’t it be far more altruistic and make more sense to just take the entire pair of socks instead of pissing us off by having only one sock go missing? And surely sock stealing has to be a major no-no in the enchanted little fairy world, so I’m just not buying it…

While I’m sure we could all debate this matter from now until the end of time, most of us would probably agree that none of the above theories seem very plausible when it comes to explaining where our missing socks really go. However, after much in-depth analysis and serious consideration I have concluded that in truth the dryer is actually responsible. Yes, the dyer! The Evil Dryer gobbles up our beloved socks only to later shit them out into fuzzy pieces inside the dryer’s lint trap. Think about this the next time you are cleaning out that big blob of lint from inside your dryer. Not so far-fetched a theory now is it? …I’m just saying…

Bring It "Hater Lady"!!!

WOO HOO! Yesterday The Ranter’s Box got its very first comment by a “hater”. They say there is a first time for everything so I thought it only appropriate to commemorate this momentous occasion with a special tongue-in-cheek rebuttal just for that particular individual.

Apparently this person did not take too keenly to the “Parents Who Dress Their Kids Like Dorks” rant. I’m guessing it might because this post hit a little too close to home and perhaps conjured up memories of “The Hater” being stuffed into a school locker or having other kids laugh at their ridiculous style choices. Either way the overall response to this post has been phenomenally great … So attention “Hater” - maybe you just might want to consider the following points:

1. The Ranter’s Box loves receiving comments and even appreciates feedback from a differing perspective as long as that feedback is with merit! Please read blog posts carefully and in their entirety. Consider the context of what is actually written before you get all sanctimonious. (And in case you didn’t know it “Hater”, sanctimonious means to act holier-than-thou or to make a showing of moral superiority.)

2. If you are going to admit to working in the profession of childhood development it might be a good idea for you to brush up on your cognizant thought process and grammatical skills before making comments lest you risk looking both stupid and sanctimonious!

3. The blog post was about parents who dress their kids in a way that ultimately risks the child being labeled as a weirdo or misfit. THIS WAS NOT a post geared toward making fun of anyone’s physical characteristics or lack of money. Doing so is just plain mean and not acceptable by The Ranter’s Box standards.

4. With regard to your comment about Americans, technically I am a permanent resident of a country other than the US. While it is true that Americans can be outspoken, from my travels I can tell you that people from countries other than the US actually do care about what they wear. So “Hater”, go ahead and bash Americans but I doubt you’ll be making many new friends on this blog or elsewhere!

5. This blog is written from the perspective of someone who is outspoken and says all those things that other people are probably already thinking. The target audience is intelligent, witty thinkers with a sense of humor. If this particular demographic doesn’t describe you “Hater” well then you and your sparkly reindeer holiday sweater can always hit the Next Blog button at the top of my site -- or better yet, go write your own damn blog! … CHEERIO Hater Lady!

Jerk of the Week – Tony Hayward, BP CEO

Well, if this latest example of not really giving a shit doesn’t put the whole BP oil spill debacle into perspective then I don’t know what the heck does. Highly insensitive BP CEO Tony Hayward decided that it would be perfectly acceptable to spend the day on Saturday watching his US$700,000 52-foot yacht participate in the glitzy Isle of Wight annual yachting race in England. Now correct me if I am wrong here folks, but aren’t there still massive amounts of oil spilling into the Gulf of Mexico? How is it that the top leader of a company directly responsible for a catastrophic environmental disaster of such grave magnitude can be out there socializing with other wealthy boaters when across the ocean homes, businesses and lives are being lost because of poor decisions made by BP? Perhaps this latest incident helps explain why Tony Hayward can claim to the US House investigations panel that he was/is out of the loop regarding decisions surrounding the Deepwater Horizon oil rig explosion. He is obviously too busy living the high life near the pristine waters of his home county. Someone should sack this prick already – thus allowing him to finally “get his life back”. …I’m just saying…

Happy Fathers Day!

Ah, what is a dad to do?...



Just my observation but doesn't this guy look like he is all too familiar with trying to sneak out of bed after getting what he wanted?!

Happy Fathers Day to all you dads out there!

The Incredible Wizarding World of Harry Potter

Call it being in touch with your inner child or just plain juvenile but when I first heard that the Wizarding World of Harry Potter would be opening at Universal Orlando in June 2010, I was so excited that I wanted to book my snarky little self on the very next Southwest flight and go check it out. Now whether you think the phenomenon otherwise known as Harry Potter is indeed the greatest thing since sliced bread or a complete and total load of hooey, the concept behind this amusement park does seem pretty brilliant. After all, what little scone grabber or true Harry Potter fan wouldn’t love to step inside Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry or the fantastical village of Hogsmeade? Imagine shopping at Ollivander’s Wand Shop for your very own magical wand, enjoying a cold pint of Butterbeer at Hog’s Head Pub, being mesmerized by talking portraits in the Hogwarts Portrait Gallery, or learning how to fly on a mythical Hippogriff. And who wouldn’t want to get their ‘scare’ on by encountering an actual dragon or those creepy energy sucking Dementors while riding on the park’s main attraction called Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey? Or if roller coasters aren’t up your alley, just pay a visit to the restroom and you can have Moaning Myrtle who haunts the ladies loos literally scare the piss out of you. After you dry your drawers, pop into Zonkos Joke Shop to pick up a screaming yo-yo or try Honeydukes confectionary for delicious chocolate frogs. All and all I’d say it sounds like an absolutely fantabulous way to just relax and enjoy being a kid again. Now how cool is that? …I’m just saying…

Nip/Tuck - Couch Humping Scene HD

Classic Nip/Tuck - Newly hired doctor "trying out" his private office...



...Because you never really know what people get up to behind closed doors!

Parents Who Dress Their Kids Like Dorks

Recently while I was out hiking I came across a family that caused both my friend and I to look at each other with raised eyebrows. Now I am not one to say unkind things about someone’s level of attractiveness, height or other physical characteristics they can’t change because that would be just plain mean. But there are however plenty of things that a person can change when it comes to their overall appearance – things like grooming, hairstyle, and choice of clothing. So what the heck is up with parents who dress their kids in a way that automatically sets a child up to be labeled as the school nerd? Here was this poor little boy who could have been seen as cute had his parents not dressed him in high-waisted shorts that came up to his arm pits, a tucked in t-shirt, long black socks and a sun bonnet tied securely under his chin. Seriously, the parents might as well have put a sign on the kid’s back that said “kick me” and then sent him straight into the clutches of the school bully because this child is doomed to be regularly stuffed into school lockers and to have his lunch money stolen. And to make matters worse, a few moments later the father came strolling up the hiking path in virtually the same idiotic outfit as his son. This kid, thanks to his dorky parents, doesn’t stand a chance in hell!

Now I get that not everyone is destined to be the star athlete or school beauty queen and that we all have our own individual ideas about what we consider to be fashionable. But come on parents, is it really fair to dress your kid like a some sort of reject that even Mister Rogers would laugh at? There are affordable discount stores like Ross or even Walmart where you can get your kid some clothing that is somewhat stylish and looks like it comes from this decade. So please do your child a favor and think about this the next time you are out shopping for their clothes… And no, your kid would not love to wear that stupid reindeer holiday sweater with the sparkles…