Reality TV and show hosting reached an all-time low last night when The Bachelorette dedicated a full 30 minutes of scintillating programming to the ‘after the break up reunion of Jake and Vienna’. In case you don’t happen to read the trash tabloids, Jake and Vienna were the most recent destined-to-be-together-forever couple who hooked up on The Bachelor. She was the mean and skanky-like ho that all the girls on the show hated. He was the douchey pilot (who was dumped by the previous Bachelorette Jillian, Joanie or whatever the f*uck her name was) and later cast as the new Bachelor… Yeah, I know, it truly is an absolute freaking nightmare just trying to keep up with the ridiculous reality TV soap opera that the ABC network has conceived… But anyway, during the not-to-be-missed-reunion, tool-head Jake and weepy Vienna had a full-on knock down drag out bicker fest. They argued about everything from GPS, to furniture arrangement and even dog poo. Apparently Jakey wasn’t giving up the ole sausage and Vienna was feeling neglected and unloved. Jake was whining about how he felt undermined and emasculated (yes his words, but kind of ironic considering how he always seems to comes across as an overly emotional, wussy big girl’s blouse). There were also accusations of infidelity, lying and fame whoring! When the opposing parties got hung up arguing about Vienna’s dog, the host Chris Harrison finally interjected and said “No one cares about the dog” -- which had to be the best and only redeeming line of this completely embarrassing saga. It is my sincere hope that Chris Harrison will finally wake up and realize that he is quickly turning into the scummy new mayor of Jerry Springerville – and go get a real job. As for Jake and Vienna, one can only hope that they crawl back under whatever rocks they originally came from under, because frankly, no one really gives a shit …I’m just saying…
