The other day when glancing over at the backside of a sales advertisement I did a double-take. There in bold copy were the unmistakable and rather gross words: BUTT PASTE. Yes, you read that correctly. Butt Paste.
One’s mind then starts to wonder if such a disgusting thing as butt paste might be akin to say ‘toe jam’ but instead applicable to the funk found in an unkempt keister crack.
Much to my relief however, it turns out that butt paste isn’t some sort of skanky medical affliction (but if it were no doubt the sleazy likes of Paris Hilton or The Warlock would catch it). Instead butt paste is actually this rather innocuous stuff:
Curiosity then got the best of me so I did a bit of research to find out what other sorts of weird and kooky butt creams and potions (of the non-hemorrhoidal type) that might exist. It turns out there are plenty, take for instance this magical arse powder:
Apparently one sprinkles this special powder around one’s butt region to help stop chafing and friction …from sporting activities, monkey business or what have you…
Then there is bleaching cream for one’s bunghole. Yes, anal bleach. Just a few dabs a couple times per day and you too can restore your backdoor exit to its former bright and shiny glory. You’ll have to use your imagination here folks because trust me, you DO NOT want to see the photos!
And on that note, I believe I have a bit of friction and chafing to tend to…
Happy Monday my lovelies!
xo The Empress
