Friday, August 27, 2010

Tweedledee, Tweedledum and Tweedledumber



So recently the property in which I reside decided they would finally replace my refrigerator and stove --that they should have replaced six months ago prior to me moving in. Yay for me! Now I was finally going to be able to bake cookies while dancing around in my underwear and tiara --and not have said cookies come out burned around the edges and raw in the middle.

Anyhow, what should have been a relatively simple process that involved removing the old wonky appliances and replacing them with bright, shiny new appliances turned into a majorly convoluted production. All while the entire contents of my refrigerator and freezer sat in my kitchen sink and got hotter than a whore cranking it in 98% humidity…

I should have known that things weren’t going to go according to plan when Tweedledee, the first maintenance technician showed up 30 minutes late for our scheduled appointment -- and was empty-handed. Nary a refrigerator or stove in sight. Tweedledee mumbled something about having to return to his maintenance shop and smoke a joint. And despite my suggesting that upon his departure perhaps he might want to consider taking away one of the defective appliances, he thought otherwise and left as empty-handed as when he arrived.

45 minutes later Tweedledee came back with Tweedledum (maintenance technician #2). Not a f*cking appliance in sight. And neither one of them had the protective booties their employer requires them to wear on their shoes when working inside tenants’ homes. Tweedledee and Tweedledum decided they should go back to their maintenance shop, get their protective booties, smoke another joint, and then upon returning bring up the appliances they had so stupidly left downstairs in the parking garage.

45 minutes more go by and Tweedledee and Tweedledum showed up with Tweedledumber (maintenance technician #3). Somehow by the grace of gawd they actually managed to bring a refrigerator with them but didn’t take into account that they would have to remove the old broken one before the new one could be installed.

It was at that point I started to seriously wonder how in the effing hell any of those shit-for-brains morons could actually get themselves dressed and out of the house in the morning…

But after much trial and tribulation the Tweedles somehow managed to install my new refrigerator. The joy however was short-lived when I realized the refrigerator and freezer doors were installed on the wrong side -- rendering access to said appliance virtually impossible.

Tweedledee, Tweedledum and Tweedledumber decided amongst themselves that they would have to return yet again to the maintenance shop. This time to drink a few beers, text their girlfriends, and maybe get the necessary tools required to switch the appliance doors. … Yes, that is correct …out of three maintenance technicians, not a single one of them had the foresight to bring along any tools necessary for an appliance installation.

30 minutes later the pack of jackasses came back with the tools and proceeded amongst themselves to struggle for another 30 minutes trying to get the appliance doors removed…

And finally, three hours into the whole debacle, the Tweedles finally completed the refrigerator swap. I then had the great pleasure of having to project manage their stoned asses while they attempted to replace my stove…

20 comments:

  1. What a bunch of hapless wonders! I'd had probably taken a meat cleaver to their stoned asses before too long...

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  2. Painful. I would totally demand that they buy me three boxes of frozen waffles.

    (Only because that pretty much makes up what's in my freezer. Not because I think waffles are, like, the local currency.)

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  3. Sounds about right...

    I'm lucky, our maintenance guys kick ass.

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  4. OMG ... do they work for sears?? I swear that repair company would be able to fix their own asses. Love the fact that they brought NO tools!

    Gotta love it.

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  5. Perhaps if there were a 4th or 5th Tweedle things would have run more smoothly LOL

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  6. Kinda sounds like the first time our water pipes busted... the idiot was supposed to show up at 8 am. 9:30 comes and no Mr. Fix it. After calling him, he finally showed up at 10:30. 11:00 rolls around and he leaves to locate a saw. By 2 pm he still had not returned. At this point I called the landlord who in turn called him and bitched his ass out. He came back an hour later, "fixed" it, and left. Everything worked fine... until the next day, when I decided to take a shower. Once again, the pipes were busted.

    I think "idiot maintenance techs" are a whole breed of their own.

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  7. ...so with so many out of work strapping young men with a brain out there, they keep these on payroll?
    I had a stove that the motherboard died in after 12 years...I called Sears Brand Central- they fix all brands, right? Ok, they guy stood in the kitchen and said it would be $129 for the service call and then $900+ to fix the motherboard- get another one I guess, and at that point I said, screw that! It's 12 years old...I'll take that $900+ and put it towards a new one with a warranty and a shiny stainless steel front! He agreed and said that Sears didn't like them to work on an appliance when they could convince the customer to get another one because they made more money charging for a 10 minute service call than actually paying a guy to spend an hour or two fixing an appliance. My jaw was on the floor and I asked him if he was kidding. He said no and then I told him I couldn't believe he actually told me that. He said he didn't care he was quitting the next week. How do you like them apples? $129 per 10 minutes of standing in my kitchen...I bought my appliance afterwards from Lowes! F*ck Sears!Sorry!

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  8. So I guess the answer to that age old question: How many tweedle-dipshits does it take to install a refrigerator is THREE. As long as they squeeze in some wacky tobacky and brewskis.

    They would get along great with my two neighbors, Mr. & Mrs. Moron.

    SD
    http://simpledudecomplexworld.blogspot.com/

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  9. You could bake them some cookies heavily laced with laxatives to thank them for the very "efficient and speedy" installation of appliances ...

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  10. @Nat: The meat cleaver is an excellent idea. I shall have to remember that for next time!

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    @Lacie: Actually waffles sound incredibly good right about now!

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    @Liz: You guys are lucky. I would not wish those half-wits on anyone!

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    @The Chick in the Chair Perspective: Love wasn't exactly what I was feeling at the time... The no tools thing was just classic.

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    @Donda: Perhaps there were 4th and 5th tweedles and that is what they were actually playing with whenever they kept buggering off to the maintenance shop! Stupid effin tossers!!

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  11. Holy smokes, that's bad customer service! You should definitely complain to their manager or supervisor. There are so many people who want jobs in this economy that they don't really deserve to keep their's.

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  12. @Erica: It does kind of make you wonder where they find those morons! Hope your shower works now.

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    @G: Oh believe you me, I was definitely wondering why those dumb arses had paying jobs when so many others don't! Glad to hear you didn't give any more of your money to shitty old Sears. What a racket they have going on!

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  13. @Steve G: When the manager called to follow up she was none too pleased to find out about the ineffectiveness of those jackasses. Unbelievable!

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    @Simple Dude: Ha! I was thinking myself that there should be some new joke about the number of morons it takes to install a refrigerator!

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    @Dysfunktional: The special cookies are a brilliant idea! Thanks for the suggestion.

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  14. Sounds like a horiffic ordeal. Sounds like the municipal workers who took two days to replace a metre long section of piping down my road. It was frequent breaks and walks! http://msibanda.blogspot.com

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  15. That sounds like something you would see on a modernized episode of I Love Lucy.

    If that happened to me, I'd be looking for the hidden cameras, haha!

    - Tiff
    http://zenalicious.blogspot.com

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  16. @Mthoko: There seems to be an entire army of incompetent people who are paid to fix things minus any proven ability to actually do so. Unfortunately I too can relate to frustrations with skiving municipal workers.

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    @Tiff: The hidden cameras were probably more appropriate to the incident I had my smoke alarm a couple days later... could be a future post...

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  17. Oh dear, looks like idiots like that are a world wide problem. We have them here too. Perhaps we should round them up and send them off to an island somewhere where they cant hurt themselves or our appliances. Hugs

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  18. Just wanted to let you know that I found this blog so very funny that I posted a link on my facebook page.

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  19. I to like to dance in my underwear and tiara whilst baking cookies!

    I bet these people showed up in a white unmarked cargo van..
    Nothing screams legit like a scary unmarked van

    www.thedramaticcomedyofmylife.blogspot.com

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  20. @Mynx: I was thinking the same thing about the island. Seriously, people like that should not be allowed to live in the same proximity as those who aren't asshats!

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    @The Chick in the Chair Perspective: I'm glad to know I brought some joy into your day. Thank you so much for link!

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    @Pavla: Yes, one must be fashionably attired whilst baking! ...Sadly, the Tweedles work for the property. Right now they drive golf carts but they are most definitely headed down the unmarked white cargo van path.

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