Monday, July 18, 2011

Things that SUCK: Car Alarm Edition


After a gawd-awful week and a half of having to listen to this shit, I can’t think of anything more annoying than the sound of a psychotic car alarm with a very bad case of Tourette’s. Currently myself and some of the other sleep deprived neighbors are seriously thinking of taking a grenade launcher to the offending vehicle in question. Doing so may be our only hope towards restoring some much needed peace and quiet to the neighborhood. Apparently the management over at the ghetto property where the vehicle is parked don’t give a rat’s ass that a screeching car alarm is going off day and night for hours at a time. And clearly neither does the Barney Fife wanna-be security guard over at the property or the inconsiderate jackwagon who owns the vehicle that sounds something like this:




Happy Monday my lovelies and may you enjoy a serene and blissful week!
xo The Empress

16 comments:

  1. He's right. I will think that the next time I hear someone's alarm. Dane Cook is one of those comedians who catches a bad rap, but I swear I always seem to laugh at him from time to time. I think he's funny.

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  2. I almost took a sledge hammer to a damn car next door a while back. The fucking alarm was a childrens nursery rhyme song. It pissed me off to new depths of hell.

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  3. There is little to nothing funnier than that skit. I love it. Every single time I hear a car alarm I sing that to myself! I miss the days when he was funny...he just isn't anymore. It makes me sad.

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  4. @Thank,Q: Anything to put a positive twist on this type of maddening annoyance.

    @Oilfield Trash: A sledge hammer sounds like a grand idea!

    @Jewels: Glad you enjoyed the video clip. As for Dane, I can take him or leave him. He just so happened to have the most apropos video for this particular topic.

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  5. I suggest the gift of a hand grenade tucked lovingly under the front end of that car. Or perhaps the touching presentation of a block of C-4, Mythbusters style.

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  6. I dunno... he's like nails on a chalkboard to me. He's (heh) the car alarm of comedians for me.

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  7. If you do use a rocket launcher can you at least let me come watch first. OMG, I would love to see one used on those pain in the ass alarms. They serve no purpose because if the friggen' owner doesn't give a crap, then what's the security purpose? So with you on this!!!!! Let's party. Wanna party? hahaha

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  8. Next time I hear a car alarm I will chuckle, out of respect for his genius =D

    Awesome vid

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  9. Where we used to live the owner of the building next door installed one of those motion detection alarms on the building. Then he rented out to a dance school so every night @ around 10PM when they were locking up it would go off. EVERY. FREAKIN'. NIGHT.

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  10. That's the nice thing about the country - hardly anyone locks their car, let alone has a freaking car alarm. I'm a rarity and I try NOT to hit the panic button.

    Whatever you do to remove this problematic car alarm, please try to capture it on hidden camera so we can all enjoy it. :o)

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  11. I don't understand why people still get those car alarms installed. They don't help protect your vehicle, they just make a lot of noise. So annoying!

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  12. Car alarms, I really just don't understand why anybody uses them. What is the point? NOBODY pays attention to them when they go off because they go off for no reason at all ... all the time.

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  13. that was too funny got love car alarms

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  14. @Danger Boy: I was thinking the same thing re: the C4 but thought it best not to make too many references to things that could unintentionally and incorrectly signal me out as a potential terrorist ; )

    @Lost.in.Idaho: Poor Dane isn't getting any love!

    @Bouncin' Barb: Tee hee! A video of someone blowing up a vehicle with an offending car alarm would be hilarious. Congratulations on reaching 200+ follower!! Party time, YES!

    @Byakuya: Glad you enjoyed the video : )

    @Vinny C: Wow, and the owner never put two and two together that the motion sensor wasn't such a great idea?

    @J.Day: You'll be the first to know!

    @theTsaritsa: Very annoying. However, someone has come out with a car alarm that makes sex noises instead of beeping sounds. Maybe people would take notice to that?

    @Mustang Sally: Agreed. They are all but useless.

    @Becca: It is kind of funny, but only if you haven't had to listen to one going off non-stop for several days and nights : )

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  15. @Copyboy: Tour-gasm? I'm guessing he would like that reference?

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